Emerald Isle

The culmination of the back-to-back-to-back-to-back weekends of travel was a much, much anticipated 5-day beach trip to Emerald Isle. It was one of those trips we've talked about nearly all of residency - "we should rent a house at the beach for the end of residency!" and I'm equal parts thrilled we followed through and amazed that we're at the end of residency point already.

I've grown up going to South Carolina beaches - specifically Garden City & Surfside - but I have always wanted to explore the varying and interesting coast of NC so I was excited that we picked the new-to-me spot of Emerald Isle. Locke found us a great house that was 2nd row to the beach with a pool in the backyard and we quickly made it a home by dumping sunglasses on every counter, beach towels over stairways, sun-tanned lotion magazines on side tables and stocking the fridge full of beer, snacks and fishing bait.

It was a wonderful get-away with good friends, Zac & Jamie, Anne & Locke and Mike. After looking at a weather forecast with potential rain all week, we lucked out with never a drop and sunny warm days in the high 70s. There were some threatening clouds that cropped up from time to time, but they moved on and the sun shone all week. We fell into an easy routine of breakfast and coffee on the porch, wandering down to the pool for basking, reading or hanging out in the water, a quick bite to eat for lunch and then wandering over to the beach for the afternoon. The boys amused themselves with bocce ball or guarding fishing lines. It goes without saying that most girls don't need amusement at a beach - there's total satisfaction from toes in the sand, a few magazines and maybe even a nap. Or even better, watching cute Zoey experience the surf lapping up on her sandy legs or trying to figure out how to distract her Momma so she could find out if sand was as tasty as it looked like it could be.

We had two delicious meals out at local restaurants that were picked out by Mike who frequents this beach every other weekend (insert snide jealous comment) and then we cooked two meals in.  Our final night, we had a shrimp boil - something I have always wanted to do and which turned out to be very easy and a huge crowd pleaser. Adding to the "keep" list for future recipes and potential tailgate or other large crowd meals.

Between the surprisingly great weather, the excellent company and the adorable and entertaining Miss Z I don't think we could have had a better week. The only improvement on the vacation would have been to double the time we were there. Sunday morning arrived way, way too quickly and soon we were saying goodbye to our little island house and headed back to reality.

Wino Weekend: Meeting JB

We've been the best of friends since our senior year in college when we would meet every Wednesday for half-priced wine bottle night at Filling Station (thus earning us our still used moniker, "the winos.")   Since graduating, we've kept a daily email exchange going to stay in touch with each other's day to day life.  (My "wino" email folder has 21,834 emails in it to date.)  But emails are no substitutes for exchanging stories in person, and so we've made it a point to fly all over the country to see each other - for homecoming, for spring breaks, for engagements, bachelorettes, birthdays, weddings, tailgates, housewarmings, wine trips and sometimes for no other reason that that we miss each other.  But now we've progressed to a new reason for get together: meeting each other's babies.

John was born in December to Shelby & Brad, and we've been itching to meet him for the last 6 months - seeing his cute smiley face over instagrams and emails has merely been a tease.  Despite hectic schedules - Jess moving, Jenny wrapping up her school year, me getting closer and closer to a no-travel date - we were able to land ourselves a weekend in June for a much overdue wino weekend.

And it was, as always, perfection.  There are some people who you can literally just spend time with and be perfectly content and happy.  These are my winos.  It wasn't a particularly eventful weekend - we spent some time at the pool, and the girls had planned a surprise baby shower/celebration for both Shelby & I in the afternoon, and we had a few meals together. And of course, we got to meet little John and see Emily's baby, Claire - who is almost not a baby anymore!  It was blissful just to be in the company of my long-time friends and hear their voices catching me up on their lives.

I was a little teary headed back west on I-40 after dropping Pam off at the airport and hugging the rest of the girls good-bye... until I got an email from one of them the following Monday morning that simply said:

"So, when's our next wino weekend?"

Life After College Doesn’t Have to Suck: A Book Review

I am the wrong person to write this review.  For starters, this book is written for college graduates (the soon-to-be, the just-last-week, and the-few-years-ago.)  Considering I recently felt morally obligated to stop using my student ID at Harris Teeter about 2 years ago, I think I am (sadly) out of the context of college graduate.

Secondly, I picked up Life After College Doesn’t Have the Suck mainly because I know the author and I was impressed one of my peers had done something I've always wanted to do (written and PUBLISHED a book), and wanted to see what it was all about.  This, of course, makes me moderately biased which I think is fair to state up front.  Nonetheless, my friend Jess asked me the other day if I wouldn’t get on Goodreads (because I fear getting sucked into another social media outlet), if I would at least blog from time to time when I read something I liked.  So here we are.

I downloaded it on a slow Saturday evening (see: definitely not a recent college graduate) and dove in, figuring I’d read a few chapters to get the gist of it.

I didn't go to bed until I had finished it that night.  I was sucked in immediately, drawn in by the outrageous chapter titles and the fast-clipped, in your face writing style.  I may not be the target audience for this book, but I was highlighting lines, nodding my head and literally stopped twice to text the author to tell him I was laughing out loud at certain points. 

Let's get down to it.  I want you to buy the book (and John Murdock, the author, does too) so I'll be sparse in my details about content.  The basic premise is that while it used to be a pretty safe bet that a 4-year degree was the all-express pass to The Perfect Job post college, the times they are a changing.  And yet… no one really seems to be passing that memo along to college students (and recent grads) until they get out in the "real world."  And when they get there, they are flailing and have no idea what to do.

I think this topic is incredibly relevant.  We're hearing more and more about the burgeoning student debt problem as it's taking college grads longer and longer to find employment, along with the rest of the country.  We’re still churning high school students out on to the conveyer belt to the 4 year liberal arts school with little to no warning that the next stop of the fulfilling, quickly obtained, lucrative career is becoming more and more elusive.

I love that this book is addressing this issue, but more importantly, I love the way Murdock addresses the issue.  He's pretty blunt.  I have to admit, I was taken aback at first.  I'm a long time reader of personal development blogs like White Hot Truth and The Happiness Project, and I'm much more accustomed to ingesting information in quirky, happy sound bites.  My initial gut reaction was to be put off by the shock-value tone. But there is enough humor after the initial blows to balm the wounds and keep the reader going. The more I got into the book, I realized that the HEY YOU! WAKE UP! tone is exactly what’s needed. It's a fine art to know when to wield tough love and I think he gets it right here.

I was also initially struck by the brevity of the book. The chapters are short, the points are made quickly and then it’s on to the next thing. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this delivery was actually perfected suited to the intended readership too. John's writing to the audience that is 100% accustomed to getting information in feeds, tweets and texts. Information is ingested quickly before moving on to the next salient point. If his goal was to capture the attention of the recent college grad, shake them by the shoulders, scare them a little bit, then reassure them it was going to be okay – if they were willing to make the effort to make it that way - he hit the nail on the head.

The book is timely and arrives on the cusp of a conversation about the unique problems the next generation of worker bees is facing. They're at the intersection of Steve Job's admonishment to "keep looking" and the economy's advice to "take whatever you can get."

My sense was the book is meant to be a catalyst. It's not a how to guide to find the perfect job after college, but he succinctly addresses the common pitfalls college grads are falling in to and outlines some basic ways to change course. It’s a must-read for any soon-to-be or recent college grads, but it’s also an interesting read for anyone who is participating in the conversation of what’s next for Gen Y in the workforce. If the reader finishes the book and feels like there IS a 3rd option between a soul-sucking corporate existence that pays the bills and bunking in Mom & Dad's basement until inheritance kicks in, then John has succeeded.

******

You can pick up the e-book here, read more on John’s blog here or follow The Young Professional on Twitter. 

And the necessary disclaimer: I was not paid to read or review the book.  All opinions are mine and all moola spent was mine.

Dining in the Dash: Mooney’s

Anne & I checked another restaurant off our list of must-try places in our Dining in the Dash project!  I know a lot of people are regulars at Mooney's, but somehow neither of us had ventured down 4th Street to try it yet.  In fact, when I tweeted that I was going at least 3 different people mentioned it was one of their W-S faves (and I even got a recommendation for a dish to try from Miriam.)

I was really happy to see Anne had snagged an outdoor table when I walked up - I love al fresco dining in the summer!  I decided to take Miriam's advice and go with a sampler plate because it seemed like a good way to try out a couple new dishes.  I've eaten a good bit of Mediterranean food but I haven't varied much from a few basic standards that I know I like.  So I decided the falafel as something completely new to me, along with some stand-by favorites like hummus and couscous.  And then I got the cauliflower just because it sounded good.  Anne ordered a moussaka that was a special recommended by the waiter. My biggest problem was narrowing down what to try on my sampler platter - I also really wanted to try the tabouli and baba ghanouj!  Just means I have to go back, right?

General food review: the hummus was excellent - very creamy and tangy.  I loved the couscous - I forget how much I like couscous because I don't cook it at home very much since Matt doesn't really like it.  I loved the addition of raisins in it for a hint of sweetness.  The fried cauliflower were great too - very light, not breaded or battered and they came with a sesame dressing for dipping.  The only thing I didn't love was my new dish, the falafel.  I didn't dislike it - but I was glad there were only two because I didn't find myself scarfing them down.  I also tried Anne's moussaka (and I'll let her review for herself) but I wasn't a fan - there was a spice in it I couldn't identify but I just didn't love.  Something that made it almost sweet... maybe nutmeg?  (Let the record show that I have no idea what moussaka is supposed to taste like though.)

I also thought it was fairly priced for the amount of food we had.  Our bill was $19 with tip for our 2 dinners (no drinks) and we both had leftovers to take home. One of my favorite things about our meal is that unlike a lot of dining out experiences, I didn't feel like the food was super heavy and I left full but not overstuffed.  While we were eating, Zac came by to pick up dinner there which gave me a lightbulb moment... I have a very small list of places that I like to pick dinner up from on nights I don’t feel like cooking because most take-out options end up being so heavy – I’d rather just eat a bowl of cereal!  So I might not race back here in lieu of some other favorites in restaurant (especially with my long list of places to try still), but there were so many other things on the menu I wanted to try I'm going to keep it in mind as a pick-up option for busy nights too.  I'll just have to remember to leave the couscous off Matt's plate!

A review of our “Dining in the Dash” Project*

• Kitchen Roselli
• The Screaming Rooster
• Goat Lady Dairy
• the Taco Truck
• Sweet Potatoes
• Breakfast Of Course
• Bernadin’s
• Meridian
• Old Salem Tavern
• King’s Crab Shack
• New Town Bistro
• Muddy Creek Café
• Winston-Salem Prime
• Spring House Restaurant (My Review - 5/11/12)
• Lexington BBQ
• Hillbilly Hideaway
• Mooney’s (6/11/12)
• Vin205
• MamaZoe Michael’s
• El Maguey
• Chef Dion Sprenkle 

*Yes, we added a few to the original list.  And it’s taking us awhile to get to them.  I anticipate this being a long (although enjoyable!) project.

West Coast Wedding Weekend

This weekend I flew out to Santa Barbara, CA for the wedding of one of my best friends from college, Anna, and her now-husband Pablo.  While I wouldn't normally condone a cross-country weekend getaway (especially 30 weeks pregnant), I am so, so happy I was able to be present for Anna's big day.  We've been friends since we first met in our freshmen year dorm and have stayed close after more than 12 years, despite living on 2 different coasts now instead of 2 different dorm floors!

It was a quick trip out to Cali, but a wonderful weekend.  I arrived in LA Friday morning - a little sleepy after a SERIOUSLY early departure from Charlotte - where I met my friend Britta at the rental car place.  We made the beautiful 2 hour drive up the coast together to Santa Barbara, and met our other friend Sarah at the hotel.  The four of us - Anna, Britta, Sarah and I - all met freshmen year in our dorm, pledged the same sorority, lived together at various points throughout college, and have now have each taken turns being one another’s bridesmaids!

The wedding was so perfectly suited to Anna & Pablo - honestly, I don't think I have ever been to a wedding that was more personal than this one.  The ceremony site was a shaded little corner of a park with huge rock boulders for privacy.  While waiting for the ceremony to start, guests stood and mingled around a lemonade table and looked at pictures of the couple hanging from ribbons from the trees, while we bridesmaids huddled behind a huge boulder to stay hidden.  The ceremony was conducted underneath a huge tree by Anna's brother, Martin, while guests stood in a close circle around us.  They had written their own vows, and they were so sweet and meaningful - I don't think there was a single dry eye among us. (I wish I had some pictures of the actual ceremony, but I didn’t think snapping some pics while standing in the bridal line was considered good wedding party etiquette!)

Afterwards, we traipsed back through the woods to our cars (my first time driving a bride to her own wedding!) and to a nearby restaurant called the Wine Cask, for an absolutely fabulous meal, wonderful toasts, lots of congratulatory hugs and of course, dancing.  (And for the record, being pregnant in a place called "the Wine Cask" is indeed absolute purgatory.)  But, in lieu of wine, I found my vice of the night - chocolate chevre donuts.  Just let that sink in for a minute.

I kind of want to devote a whole paragraph to this donut.  Anna had a mini-dessert bar (which, AMAZING) with oversized spoon filled with lemon curd, mini peanut butter cupcakes, slices of wedding cake and mini chocolate chevre donuts.  I took a spoonful of lemon curd - nice, but I wasn't over the moon.  I bit into the peanut butter cupcake - and gave the rest to Sarah because it was too rich.  Then I reached for the donuts (shut up, I'm pregnant) and as soon as I took a bite told Sarah "stop eating that peanut butter thing right now and put this in your mouth immediately!" Possibly one of the best things I have ever eaten. Ok, I did just devote a whole paragraph to it, didn't I?

Anyways, it was a fantastic weekend although way, way too short.  We had dinner together Friday night at the rehearsal dinner and a relaxing albeit breezy day on the beach together on Saturday, but I felt like I was saying good-bye to my friends almost as soon as I had said hello.  Before I knew it, I was wishing Anna and Pablo congratulations and goodnight and slinking back to the hotel room due to my 5 am (eek!) departure to drive back to LAX the next morning.  The travel home was long, but fortunately and blissfully uneventful - and even made a tiny bit easier by a sweet TSA lady who waved me through the long security line to get in priority security so I didn't have to wait so long.  (Preggo perks!)  I was happy to pull in to my garage and climb into bed Sunday night, but I'm even more happy I made the long journey out to the other side of the country to witness one of my best friends and the start of her happy, happy marriage. 

Breezy Beach Day

Working on her vows…

Getting in her dress w/ her sister Rebecca’s help

Beautiful bride!

Congratulations, Anna & Pabs!

30 x 30

Last year when I turned 29, there was a really popular blog meme going around called "30 x 30."  It entailed making a list of 30 things you wanted to do before you turned 30.  I love lists and I love projects, so I of course thought it was a great idea.  I wrote my list in my little notebook where I jot down ideas, gratitude lists and inspiration and put it away.  I thought about it from time to time, and glanced through it once or twice, but didn’t necessarily make a conscious effort to follow through with the things on the list. The day before my 30th birthday I pulled it out... and realized I had only done 5 things on the list.  Oops.  So much for that project.

So instead of focusing on the fact that I have not perfected a dish with bok choy in it or run a sub 30 minute 5k, I decided to start a new list from scratch.  I was inspired by Glamour's list of 30 things every woman should have or do by the time they were 30 and I started drafting a list of 30 lessons I've learned by 30.  It was hard to think of ideas at first, but once I got the ball rolling, it was a fun way to reflect on some of the last 30 years of my life.  Some of the lessons are things people have said that have stuck with me, some were learned the hard way and some are just the source of really good stories… and obviously, it’s by no means exhaustive. 

But it was a fun way to reflect and makes me kind of curious to know what I'm going to learn over the next 30 - and wonder what I'm going to end up going through to learn these lessons.  So here's my final tribute to myself on my 30th birthday (oh hello, narcissism) and MY version of a 30 x 30 list:

30 Things I've Learned by 30:

1. Don't take it personally.  Someone's rude behavior or hurtful comment is more about where they are coming from than how they feel about me.

2. Set the timer for 5 minutes. This was my Grandma's trick.  I often procrastinate small tasks like emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of clothes because I overestimate how long they are going to take.  My Grandma always said to set the timer for 5 minutes and tell yourself you'll do the task for just that long.  I'm usually done or almost done by the time it goes off.

3. I don't have to explain why when I say no.  And in fact, sometimes the less I say the better.

4. Cultivate gratitude.

5. It's not a badge of honor to constantly tell people how busy, tired or stressed I am. The truth is, they are too and they really don't care.  I don't sound like an accomplished woman trying to do it all, I sound whiney.  Plus, by not constantly talking about how busy, tired or stressed I am, I somehow feel less busy, tired or stressed.

6. Grocery store birthday cake is rarely good enough to justify the calories. 

7. I don't have to finish every book I start.  There's just too many good books out there to waste time with a bad book.

8. Having a great relationship with your mother is not something to take for granted.

9. Something is better than nothing.  This applies to exercise, writing, and cleaning the house.  Just get started.

10. Nothing is better than something.  This applies to toxic relationships.  Just get out.

11. It's much easier to ask difficult questions when you come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment.  Just saying "I'm just curious, why...." often makes people put their guard down and answer tough questions honestly.

12. Never, ever go to the grocery store straight from the gym.

13. Deduct savings at the beginning of the month.  Get the company match.

14. Be nice to customer service reps on the phone.  Pay attention to their name and use it.  They rarely are the ones who have messed up whatever you're mad about it, but they might have the power to get you to the right people who can fix it.  At the very least, remember that they are regular people sitting in a badly lit office developing carpal tunnel syndrome and you can either be grumpy like everyone else they talk to or be that one pleasant call they have all day.

15. 3 things I really hate doing but are worth it in the long run: packing my lunch, blow-drying my hair, taking the laundry out of the washing machine and switching it to the dryer when it's done.

16. I can't claim to know the recipe for a perfect marriage but in both giving and receiving relationship advice, I've told/been told both "It's not supposed to be this hard" and "It's not supposed to be easy.  Relationships take work."  I'm so far convinced a good marriage is at the intersection of these two points.

17.  Read the recipe all the way through once before you start.

18. Sometimes "Everything happens for a reason" is a great way to practice acceptance.  Sometimes it's a defensive mechanism for not getting out of a bad situation because you're scared to take action and move forward.  It's really crucial to know the difference.

19. I will never be able to say thank you enough times to my parents.  (But I’ll keep saying it anyways.)

20. The secret to being a great listener is stop trying to "relate" to someone else's story by immediately following theirs with your own version of it.  Just shut up and listen to their story.

21. Being consistently late sends the message to other people you think your time is more important than theirs.  However long you think it will take you to do something or get somewhere, multiply it by 1.5.  You'll show up on time or finish projects ahead of time.  With all that free time, you can make really long blog post lists.

22. Wedding drinking strategy: cocktails during cocktail hour, wine with dinner, beer on dance floor, water on the way home.  Never go back once you've moved on to the next stage.

23. If you are driving 60 mph and have to be somewhere that is 20 miles away, it will take you 20 minutes to get there.  If you drive 70 mph, it will take you 17.25 minutes.  You'll save almost 3 minutes if you speed another 10 mph.  However, it will cost you about $350 to pay for the lawyer to go to court for the speeding ticket.  I retained the first fact from Driver's Ed in 1998.  I learned the second fact about a year ago.  I hate being late for things, but I try to remind myself that speeding doesn't really get me there any faster.  Learning to leave the house with enough time to spare (#21) is what you gets you there on time.

24. He who talks last, loses.  Silence often makes people uncomfortable enough that they'll just start rambling.  This is a good thing to remember when you are negotiating.  (Thanks Dad!)

25. RSVP.

26. In many cases, it is better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission.  (Thanks again, Dad.  And you were smart to wait until I was 18 to teach me that one.)

27. Learning each other's "love language" (and that they were very different) was one of the best things we did at the beginning of our marriage.  Remembering to speak it and to pay attention when he's speaking mine is one of the best things I try to do throughout our marriage.

28. The more I learn to sit and let uncomfortable feelings pass and acknowledge that they are going to be temporary, the less power a box of wheat thins has over me.

29. Investing time in relationships with girlfriends (including sister!) has had the greatest positive impact in my life.  Make dates with them, send texts just to say hi, make yourself a note when they tell you they have an interview on a certain day or a doctor's appointment or are going to run into an ex at a wedding and follow up.  And for the ones in my life that make it a point to do those things for me, I try to remember to always tell them how grateful I am for their friendship.

30. Before you put it on the internet, imagine your boss, your grandma and your future children reading it.

28 Weeks

28 weeks! 3rd trimester! What the what!

The theme of this pregnancy continues to be "Meghan is shocked that time continues to march forward despite the fact that that's exactly what time always does."

But, really. Seriously. How am I already in my 3rd trimester? I feel like I am finally getting it in my head that I am indeed pregnant - what with the belly sticking out, the kicks going on in earnest and the random strangers dispensing advice about caffeine and sleep training and car seats.  What is it about being pregnant that makes everybody feel like it is their blessed right to give you advice? Is it because pregnancy is so obviously visible and memorable for anyone who has been through it?  Anyways. Strangers in the elevator at work and their endless stream of opinions - that's a rant for another day.

I'm still feeling pretty good, although I think I'm officially out of the honeymoon phase of the second trimester and can hang up the "easiest pregnancy ever" title for now.  Usher in the stage of: random side cramps when I sit too long, pins and needles across the top of my bump as it streeeeetches, the obvious effect of relaxin on my ligaments when I exercise and oh, just for fun, toss in a 5-day stretch of a GI bug that had me googling "can you get morning sickness in the 3rd trimester?" Since I didn't do a lot of complaining in the first two trimesters, does that mean I get to do extra now?  (Husband shakes his head no, while calmly pointing me in the direction of the pool, handing me a Zofran and wisely refraining from asking why I am wearing the same pair of yoga pants for 4 days in a row.)

As for getting ready, we have the room painted!  And thanks to my two showers, we have pretty much all the gear we need to get this little boy home from the hospital, fed, swaddled, changed, swung, strolled or whatever else this tiny little dictator might demand.  And oh, clothes!  Oh my word, do I have clothes.  I have really loved garage sale and thrift store shopping, because a) I love deals and b) baby clothes are often in SUCH good condition when bought used so I had already done quite a bit of shopping for the little guy.  Then I had my shower, and learned that baby clothes are kryptonite for shower gifters.  THEN my coworker Susan asked me if I wanted her son's first year of clothes as hand-me-downs.  Before I knew it, I was driving home with FIVE plastic tubs of clothing in my backseat.  I've got clothes and then some.  I might not have a clue what to do with this baby when he comes home in a few months, but he'll be well dressed while his momma fumbles about.

I still feel like we have a lot to do before he comes but the next few weeks are busy with travel to the mountains, to California, to Raleigh and to the beach.  I'm giving myself a free pass to just get through the next 4 weeks of living suitcase to suitcase, and then after that I'm on travel restriction until baby comes - so that'll be a plenty of time to figure out how to assemble a crib and what to pack for the hospital.  Oh yea, and mentally prepare ourselves to have our life forever altered.  That's on my to do list, too.