Meeting Ayanna, the Toddler Version

The funny thing about this day and age of Instagram and Facebook is that you feel really in touch with your friends’ (and sometimes acquaintances’) lives even when you haven’t seen them in months or even years. Every day I see cute pictures of my far away friends’ kids in their day to day life and I feel like I’m getting to watch their kids grow up…

And then you get a chance to have an actual visit and you realize that pictures and hash tags are lovely, but they sure can’t hold a candle to the real thing. The last time I got to see Ayanna she was barely 3 months old. Though I’ve watched her grow up over Instagram and chatted with Akanksha almost daily on our momma tribe group iMessage, I still kind of had to pinch myself to believe that this animated, sprinting, giggling toddler was the same little person I had snuggled with just a year ago. We were so lucky to have Jacob + Akanksha come back to Winston for a visit so we could catch up in person, love on their crazy toddler, …. and mostly importantly, introduce Bo and Ayanna. There was a lot of “muuuuuu-wah’s” from Ayanna and a lot of looks of delighted surprise from Bo. Such a fun weekend catching up with old friends – we only wished it ended with a surprise announcement that they were moving back, but no dice. Back to the Instagram and iMessage catch ups for now.

Feather The Nest Baby Shower

When our friends Anne and Locke told us last fall that they were pregnant, we were so thrilled for them… and for the future playmate that Bo was going to have! It's been so fun having one of my best friends go through all the stages of pregnancy that I feel like I just left behind… and I have to say, Anne is one seriously cute pregnant lady.

It was a joy to throw her baby shower for her this weekend and help her get one step closer to welcoming her little boy. My friend Caroline and I had so much fun planning out the details of her "Feather the Nest" shower.

Anne had so many wonderful friends and family members show up to celebrate baby Glenn. We were even so lucky to be able to have one of our closest friends, Akanksha, who moved away at the end of her husband's residency fly in from St Louis to celebrate with us. Anne is the oldest of four sisters and this little boy will be the first grandbaby on both sides. I think it's safe to say he's going to spoiled and loved to pieces.

Hopefully this was just the start of all that spoiling…

Winos, Babies and Juice

Whenever we come back from a vacation or wave good-bye to visitors for a week, I find myself saying "Oh I am so ready for our normal routine!" 

Spoiler alert: there is never any normal routine. 

Right after we got back from the beach, I headed over to Raleigh for a quick visit. Pam had flown down from Boston to meet Emily's baby, and both she and Jess (up from Charlotte) were there for the weekend. I couldn't have 4 winos be together 2 hours away from me and not go, so I loaded up poor Bowen into his car seat again and we set off. 

Em and I always talk about how Bo and Cameron are going to be such great buds, but right now Bo is much more interested in older sister, Claire (2 yo). He could not take his eyes off her and she loved bringing him toys to hold or books to look at. We had a wonderful time visiting with each other, as always, including a lunch outing to Mellow and then your typical mid-afternoon juice sesh. (Explanation: Jess has become a juice convert and we were all very curious about the process and convinced her to bring her equipment and a crap ton of kale and beets. She obliged.)

Just to keep true to our roots though, we followed up the juice session with some champagne. Bo surprised me by taking a 2-hour nap at Emily's house - something he hasn't done in months at home - so I got some extra quality time with my girls before hitting the road to get home for bedtime. 

A few hours isn't long enough, but it will have to tide me over til the next winocation! 

And one last photo… when I got home that night and texted everyone to tell them I was home. Emily sent me this photo of everyone texting me at the same time. It's nice to know even when you're not there, you can still be there.

Baby Blues

Shortly after we found out we were having a boy, Jamie bought me these pajamas. Little did she know blue would so be his color.

It's crazy to think just a year ago this time, we found out that our little bub was going to be a boy and I was so surprised. Now, I can't imagine anything other than our loud, curious, busy little boy and his perfectly big blue eyes.

Unpredictable Routines

One of the greatest thing I struggle with is as A new mom is giving up the lack of a predictable schedule. Prior to having a baby, I'd come to the conclusion that there are 3 things I love having be part of my daily routine and the investment in the time I put into them just makes me a happier, saner and calmer person. They are: exercise, meditation and writing. I would also add that I am a happier person when I have sleep and feeling connected to my friends and family - whether through long, chatty emails or coffee/wine dates with friends or catching up on our day over dinner with Matt. However, I've never really struggled to make these last two a priority - it's the first three that I know I need in my life, but I let fall off the radar.

In my pre-baby life, I always somehow managed to make time for these things. I would figure out where they fit in, and when I was planning out my day, they became non-negiotables. I'd always get thrown for a huge loop whenever I'd have a major life change (moving, changing jobs, etc) and realize I needed to recalibrate how they fit in… but after a few months, I'd have put the puzzle pieces back together. What I've struggled with this time, is that it's not just a matter of a giving it a month or two to see where things fit in. Things change every single month. Sometimes they feel like they change every single week. 

And truth be told, I'm the happiest and most content I've ever been in my life…. so the lack of these habits isn't as glaring as it's been in past times of my life. But I still miss doing them, and I know that as content as I feel right now, I'd probably elevate it to freakin' amazin' when I make more of a priority to fit those things in. 

I consistently try, and I'll persistently try. About once a month, I find myself sitting down and roughly sketching out what Bo's schedule happens to be looking like that month. I'll write out his schedule, and then I'll try to figure out where I can fit my puzzle pieces in. For awhile, it was doing the elliptical during his first nap. Then, when it started getting warmer out, it became going for a walk/run in between his 2nd and 3rd nap. He's staying awake for longer in the morning, and I'm reevaluating whether it's finally a good time for us to be able to get a YMCA visit in between waking up and napping again. For awhile, I was writing and meditating in between his 5 am bottle and 7 am bottle. When he dropped the 5 am feed, I did a happy dance and of course, stopped waking up then. I wrote more at night, even though I know I'm more clear headed and creative in the morning. Now that he's sleeping 12 hours, I'm making myself go to bed at 10 and attempting to wake up an hour before him to write. Just when I figure it out though, I know it will change. It's just how it is now and how it's going to be. Accepting that has been my own personal point of resistance. 

As a life coach, I was constantly (and am constantly) telling moms to make time to take care of themselves. I realize now, that what that really translates to is, "decide what other things you're going to give up, to fit the super important stuff in." Can't do it all, and that's that. Exercise, meditation and writing are important to me. Keeping my kid happy and well-fed and well-rested are important, as are feeding my husband a healthy meal (since ya know, he's off at work every day allowing me to stay home with my darling boy), and keeping the house…relatively clean. You can't eat off my floors and if you rang my doorbell, I'd quickly sweep a pile of half-way folded laundry into the bedroom and shut the doors. I rarely do the crafts I pin on Pinterest and I'm coming to embrace air-dryer hair. I'm okay with all this. I'm great with all this in fact… I fully recognize that my "problem" (trying to figure out when to run or blog) is an indication of a pretty fortuitous life. 

I read a quote one time about babyhood being an "agonizingly short period of time." I already feel the sands of time slip through my fingers when I look at my quickly growing up baby, and I know I'll look back on these days and feel like they passed in a blink. When I think about this, I feel less anxious about trying to fit all the puzzle pieces back in. There will be plenty of other seasons in my life where they fit in effortlessly. 

Flying with a Baby, Part 2

So many people asked us how the return flight went or said they were sending us good juju for it, that I thought I'd follow up with a second (oh so exciting!) post about flying with a baby.

The return flight home went PERFECT. Flawless! He slept the whole time.

 

Ha. Psyche. It was actually pretty much exactly the same as the flights there BUT I felt like this time we were more prepared for the meltdowns and sort of figured out how to deal with them. I guess we're just seasoned veterans at the ol' traveling with an infant thing by now, is what I'm saying. (Please note, that's written in my sarcasm font.)

I had gotten really, really helpful advice from lots of friends who had done this before and read just about every "flying with a baby" blog I could find. They were super helpful with logistics and helping me plan ahead, but there's just no telling how any baby will react in new situations!

These are a few things that helped us out on round 2, to deal with the meltdowns and make our journey relatively less painful than the first go-round:

- We didn't pre-board. Getting on first is a nice bonus when you're fighting people for overhead space, but we realized the benefits of being able to freely roam the terminal until the last minute trumped that. (If you're traveling with a spouse and do need to put something overhead, send one person on normal boarding and the other wait.) We literally boarded as the very last people - I spent as much time as I could in both airports (we had a layover) walking up and down the terminal with Bo in my Bjorn. The motion kept the fussing at bay, and sometimes even helped him fall asleep.

(Bonus! When I got home that night, I had 9,327 steps on pedometer. That's the equivalent of about 4.5 miles of walking. With a 19 lb weight. Extra cardio for the win! And I totally canceled that out by stealing all of Matt's fries at dinner! Oh well!)



- Standing in the back of the plane with the baby bjorn: Matt and I took turns doing this. At the back of the plane, the white noise would either a) conk him out and we'd creep back to our seats, carefully sit down and not move for the 25ish minutes he'd sleep or b) drown him out. I didn't feel quite as bad about him crying since I knew the other passengers couldn't really hear him. (That sounds terrible - obviously I felt bad he was crying, but I knew WHY he was crying and that he was just sad because he was tired and we were making the best of the situation and oh blah blah blah, why am I justifying this, you're all my friends and no one is going to judge me.)

I actually had a flight attendant when there was quite a bit of turbulence say to me, "I just have to tell you that the seatbelt sign is on… I'm not telling you what to do, it's just my duty to tell you that it's on. I know why you are back here and I appreciate it." In general, the FA's were super nice as were the people at TSA. We didn't have any problems with taking stuff (bottles, formula, food) through security and the TSA people were always super careful and courteous when handling his food/milk. (I just felt I needed to give a little TSA shout out since they usually get such a bad rep.)

- I didn't give him a bottle on take off and landing. Everyone told me to do this to account for the pressure changes, but with the flight schedule we were on I would have been giving him four bottles within a six hour period. That's more than he usually has in one day! And giving him a "small bottle" doesn't work - he just chugs it and screams for more. I just stuck to his normal eating schedule - every 4 hours - and it worked fine. He never seemed bothered by the take off or landings.



All in all, we survived, we learned a few things along the way, and earned ourselves yet another new parenting badge. (Thank you, Kathryn for the actual badge!) And most importantly, we gained a whole new appreciate for the beauty of road trips.

Little Friends

The first few “play dates” I took Bo on it was clear that they were really just for me to chat with other moms. Since all of Bo’s friends here are older than him and he’s still working on some basic life skills such as sitting up, it usually worked out best for play dates to involve strapping kiddos into self-contained rolling vehicles and pushing said vehicles (strollers, in case you weren’t getting this) to Starbucks. 

Until one day, after a walk, Bo and I came in to hang out for a little while with Jamie and Zoey and all of a sudden, I realized my baby was playing. Ok, he wasn’t like building towers out of blocks or popping cakes into an Easy Bake Oven. But it was just amazing to see him engaged and interacting with another kid – he was just completely enthralled to watch Zoey power around her room, delighted by every book, block or baby she brought over to show him.

It is so sweet to see this little friendship budding! I have a feeling these two could be trouble together in a few short months.

Baby Essentials: Months 0-3

Every time I read someone else’s essentials lists, I always get new ideas for “things that save your sanity” so I thought I’d add my own voice to this corner of the blogosphere. Also since this is all the baby book my little cutie is going to get, I thought this would be a fun way to document some of the items that have been our go-to essentials over the last few months. Here’s what we could not live without the first 3 months:

Miracle Blanket

This is definitely our favorite baby item. We tried 3 other types of swaddles – the Aiden + Anais blankets, the SwaddleMe and the Halo SleepSack Swaddles – and Bo broke free of ALL of them. He wouldn’t sleep soundly unless he was swaddled but he was constantly sneaking an arm out and then waking himself up. After a frustrating attempt to re-swaddle him one night at 2 am when my sister was helping, she went on Amazon and bought a miracle blanket. And it really was the miracle that brought sleep to this household. He used it until he started sucking on his thumb, and then I switched back to the SwaddleMe so I could leave a hand out. Soon, we just dropped the swaddle all together and his sleep was fine. But we used the Miracle Blanket for every single nap and sleep for a solid 2.5 months and it was worth every dollar.

Wubba Nub

I had a few friends use these so I registered for them, and I was oh so happy I did. At first I thought I wouldn’t use them until he was old enough to hold on to the animals himself. However one night around 2 am during his first week (sense a theme?), after hunting on the floor in the dark for a paci Bo had spit out and shot across the room, I tore open the package and popped the wubba in and realized immediately what a genius product this is. The little stuffed animal made it heavy enough that when he spit it out, it stayed right on his chest. I could also reach backwards around the car seat and find it to pop back in. Around 2 months, he started holding on to it himself. The wubba was his best friend until suddenly one day, around 4 months, he lost interest in it and preferred to suck his hand. And that was the end of the reign of the wubbas!

Exercise Ball

I chalk it up to 9 months of in-utero dance trance but this baby loooooves motion. A rocking chair wouldn’t cut it to soothe this little guy back to sleep and so early on, I found myself sitting on an exercise ball bouncing, bouncing, bouncing him to sleep. I was a little afraid I’d be doing that for months and wondered how I would bounce a 20 pound baby, but just like everything else, he eventually grew out of needing to bounce to sleep and now the exercise ball hangs out in our playroom for me to work on my postpartum abs. One of these days.

The Swing

Speaking of motion…. I had no idea how much we were going to use this thing. The first week when I nearly lost it at the pediatrician’s describing Bo’s adamant refusal to sleep in a crib – his eyes would pop open the second he felt his back touch the mattress – she encouraged me to try the swing. Two months later, she was encouraging me to try and wean him off the swing. That’s a post for another day (and we were eventually successful), but looking back I don’t regret for a minute that I created a little swing addict. Early on, Bo was napping for 2 hour stretches and quickly hit 6-8 hour stretches at night in the swing. Now that I know it is possible to wean a swing junkie off motion and get them to a crib, I’ll definitely pop baby #2 in the swing if it’s needed. Sleep’s a beautiful thing and this gave us hours and hours of it early on. (Also, I am so happy we bought the one with an ac adapter instead of batteries. I’d guess this thing was turned on an average of 14-16 hours per day.)

Babybjorn Babysitter

Hands free momma, content baby. I wanted a simple bouncer that I could put Bo in when I needed to cook dinner, or do the dishes, or you know… go pee, for Heaven’s sake. He was happy in this from the get-go and once he started grabbing, I added the toy bar to the front and he would sit contentedly in it for a good fifteen minutes. And in baby world, that’s a lifetime. It also folds up flat, the cover comes off to be washed and it’s easy on the eyes unlike most baby paraphenalia. I scored mine on ebay for super cheap, and I’d say it was a worthy investment for future babes. At 5 months, he’ll still sit in it for a few minutes if I need my hands free but prefers the entertainment of the exersaucer or jumper.

Activity Gym

One of my friends lent me her activity gym and I was surprised how early on Bo was happy in it. At first, all he needed was the mirror and he would lay underneath and wiggle wiggle wiggle. I took down most of the toys when I realized he couldn’t see that far, and slowly added them back in as his vision improved and his coordination grew. He didn’t really start grabbing until 4 months, but he was happy to lay on the mat starting at a few weeks. I put a quilt down over it to make it softer and for easier clean up for spits up, and we ended up doing tummy time here most of the time too. We’ve been doing wiggle time for the first hour of our day since he was about 6 weeks old.

Video Monitor

Babies are noisy sleepers. Being able to switch the monitor on and see that those little coos, grunts, and cries were coming from a still asleep baby was a lifesaver. (No cracking the door to check and risk waking him up!) I used it a lot when we were doing some, ahem, “sleep training” to check on him when his cries would just break my heart. It helped a lot to see that he was okay. Now, I just use it to spy on his angelic little self when he’s asleep. My mom calls it her favorite TV channel and I couldn’t agree more. (Jamie and Zac also talked us into upgrading to the one that pans back and forth. Now that he’s moving all over the crib, I understand why!)

K’Tan Carrier

For the sake of full disclosure, I own 3 carriers: the Ergo, a k’tan and a baby bjorn. And I use them all for different purposes. It’s extremely excessive, I know. At first, I only registered for the Ergo. A week or two into Bo’s life, I realized how often baby wearing would allow me to soothe a fussy baby and get stuff done but the Ergo isn’t particularly comfortable for a newborn. After some quick research, I decided to buy the K’tan off ebay as a cloth carrier and I ended up loving it. It’s very easy to put on, Bo seems comfortable in it (even now at 17 lbs), it’s easy to store and it’s washable. (A month ago, I also bought the baby bjorn off ebay but I’ll save that for my 3-6 month essentials post.) I carried him forwarding facing for the first 3 months and then flipped him around to face the world right around his 3 month birthday.

It’s amazing how many of these products he’s already basically outgrown – the swaddle, the wubbanub, and pretty much the babysitter – yet for the first couple months of his life, we used these things every single day! There’s obviously plenty of other day to day items we used, but these were some of our very favorites. It’s a little sad to see him outgrow things, but onwards and upwards! We’re usually putting one item into storage in the attic, just to be buying or retrieving another new item he’s ready for. For being such tiny humans, they sure use a lot of stuff!

(I think I’m supposed to tell you that I was not compensated for any of these items or asked to write them. I bought them all with own my pretty pennies or kind friends loaned them to me. I’ve included Amazon links for easy searching but I don’t get any kickback if you buy them. Disclaimer disclaimer blah blah blah.)

Winos + Wino Littles

This weekend, all the winos (and a wino little) came to Winston-Salem with the very best reason for a get together: we just missed each other and wanted to see each other. I’m so thankful for the effort that my college girlfriends have made to continue to see each other in the 8 years (!!) since we’ve graduated – especially as travel grows more complicated as families get bigger and jobs get busier. This was our 3rd trip to see each other this year, which I think is just perfect. (Actually, I think it’s not enough but considering we’re spread out among 3 different states, are coordinating 6 different work/life schedules and have 3 kids among us… I think once a quarter is pretty impressive!)

We pretty much did what we always do when we get together: talked a lot. Laughed a lot. Hugged each other’s babies. Hugged each other. Drank wine. Talked a lot.

Shelby arrived with John (11.5 months) on Thursday night, and we spent Friday catching up with over a long walk with the boys and getting things ready for a surprise baby sprinkle for Emily for baby #2. The rest of the girls arrived Friday early afternoon and we spent the afternoon catching up and showering Em with baby boy gifts. I’m so excited for Bo to have another little friend in just 3 months!

Matt was kind enough to man the baby monitors for us to have a night out with each other, and we had an amazing dinner at Mozelle’s Bistro. I talk that place up so much and I was a little nervous that I had set the bar too high… especially since returning to Winston usually means visiting many of our college staples and this was something new. But of course, Mozelle’s did not disappoint.

 

We kicked off Saturday morning with breakfast at Camino’s… another new-to-them place I had talked up (and fortunately, met expectations as well!) It was super crowded but we managed to find a corner to spread out and let the babies climb (John) or wiggle (Bo) and continue our never-ending chit chat. (Drink and chat, drink and chat… that’s pretty much what we do.) After breakfast, we headed over to campus for the requisite visit and trip to the bookstores. (There’s nothing that makes you feel quite so old and out of touch as walking around your college campus with a baby.) Shelby and I took the boys home for naps while the other girls visited Rose’s for lunch (a must-do every time they return to W-S) and then the rest of the day unwinded at my house, with wine and snacks and dinner and more chatter. Eventually, it was time to conclude the evening as Emily headed back home to Raleigh to her little one, the other girls headed back to their downtown hotel for early morning flights and Shelby and I yawned our way to bed, knowing little babies don’t care how much wine their momma drank the night before.

(I love this picture. Messy room full of happy people. And Matt in the midst of all the winos.)

I say it every time we get together, but it was an absolutely perfect weekend.