More Page-A-Day Prompts

I love my Happiness Project calendar – the stack of pages I tear off to respond to later is growing ever larger, but my absolute favorite pages from it are the “questions to ask yourself” pages.  It’s a journal fanatic's dream come true.  (I forgot to take a picture of the calendar page this time, but the questions are there anyways.)

What was the nicest compliment you've ever received?

I had a hard time answering this - not because people have never said nice things about me, but because “words of affirmation” are totally my love language so I've tucked away a lot of nice things in my heart and I feel kind of funny sharing them.  One of the most meaningful compliments I’ve ever received was the toast Matt gave me at our rehearsal dinner.  I carry a copy of it in my wallet and pull it out to reread from time to time and it never fails to uplift me.   

What are your five favorite things about your neighborhood?

1. My House - can this count?  I love my house.  Since it's in my neighborhood, I'm counting it.

2. The walking path that runs through the middle of it and the sidewalks all around it.

3. My porch - okay I'm cheating a bit since this is part of my house.  But I love sitting on my porch ... and I can't wait for us to finish the fence around our backyard for even more privacy!  It feels like a retreat back there.

4. Our next door neighbor - we have a really nice next door neighbor.  He and Matt get along great, and he was absolutely amazing when it came to helping Matt build the porch - invested a huge amount of time alongside Matt teaching him how to do it.  He's also the type who will loan you his lawn mower or bring you an extra slice of pie he's made.  His niceness makes up for the fact that his son has thrown water balloons at me on more than one occasion.

5. It feels safe.  I've lived in Baltimore - I can appreciate feeling safe in a neighborhood.

What type of activities energize you?

Dance trance, strength training, writing, going on a long walk or run with a good friend, taking everything out of a cluttered space and reorganizing it, organizing a task or project with an Excel spreadsheet, making a to do list.

And now here is a gratuitous Buddy picture for your viewing enjoyment.  Because a blog post without a picture is just a glorified version of my diary.

Monday Prompts & Weekend Update

Prompts from my page-a-day calendar this morning. My first appointment didn't answer today so I did some quick scribbling to answer these questions.

List 5 things you do for fun. In the last six months, how much time have you spent doing these activities?
1. Wine tastings/visiting vineyards: Clearly, not much. But I think we know why and I think I'll return to this hobby in a few months.
2. Reading fiction: I've read a handful of fiction books lately but I've also been reading some baby books and some other nonfiction (Steve Jobs bio). I read a lot before bed and I listen to a lot of audiobooks on my commute - I probably read/listen to about 2-3 books a month. So… I’d say, plenty. :)
3. Doing crafts: Thanks to Anne's Pinterest party, I got a good fix recently. Can we do this again soon please? My "crafty" board is calling my name.
4. Dancing: A year or so ago, I wouldn't have been able to say I did this very much anymore. Thanks to dance trance, I get my dancing fix at least once a week and sometimes 2-3x/wk.
5. Traveling to new places: San Fran, check. Nashville, check. Palm Springs, check. Upcoming: Nashville again and Emerald Isle. Matt and I are pretty good about making travel a priority - I'm lucky I married someone who loves it as much as me.

I think I'm actually pretty good at including "fun" in my life these days. When I went to coach training back in 2007, they had us do this exercise called "the Wheel of Life." You rated your satisfaction with different aspects of your life (family, health, career, money, etc) on a scale of 1-10 and looked at how balanced your "wheel" was. “Fun” was my lowest then - I gave it a 5, while everything else was a 7-9. I don't think I've really consciously cultivated more fun in my life, but I guess I have made it a point to do things that aren't just simply productive or work related. Yay me! If I was doing the wheel of life exercise today, I'd probably give myself an 8 in that category.

Incidentally, it's something I ask a lot of people about when I'm doing stress management coaching and I have concluded that very few people do things for fun anymore. And I'm not just talking about people who have kids or work longer hours and have less free time than I do. I think a lot of people don't know (or remember) what they like to do for fun, and don't make an effort to include it.) An easy way to figure out what you like to do for fun is to think about what you did as a kid in your free time. With the exception of wine tasting, I loved doing all those things as a little kid and still do.

Okay, off my fun soapbox/coaching moment and off to the next prompt....

Is there a quote, book or scene from a movie that makes you happy?
The first thing that came to mind for me with this prompt was that the other night I saw someone on Twitter mention going to the musical Newsies and it made me go look up some of my favorite scenes from what was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I watched the clip of "Carrying the Banner" about 3 times in a row on Youtube - I had forgotten how happy that scene had made me to watch. So I guess that's what this prompt is going after. The other movie scene that I remember loving - from a movie I probably watched a dozen times in high school - is the "Sugar High" scene from Empire Records.

What 3 subjects fascinate you?
For this one I tried to think about what blogs I am drawn to or books I peruse in book stores - and I purposefully left weight management/nutrition off since that's my job and it kinda felt like an obvious. I came up with:
- home renovations (older homes being redone, like the blog Young House Love)
- money management, savings, financial psychology (I love the blog Get Rich Slowly and the Dave Ramsey books)
- positive thinking/psychology/self-development

These were interesting prompts. I'm not totally sure what the theme was, but I think it was in general to get you thinking about things that interest you, pique your curiosity or make you happy. That's what I got out of it and it was nice to do this exercise following a weekend that was very "productive" - garage sale prep, cooking, laundry, swapping out my closet (summer clothes AND taking out the heaps of clothes that no longer fit me now), etc.

It was definitely a much needed productive weekend, sandwiched in between last week's beach trip and a bunch of upcoming travel though. And it wasn't all work, no play.

I did go to dance on Sat morning and then got caught up on some blogging and photo editing in the afternoon. We had dinner with the Forsey's Saturday night - a comfortable sit on the deck kind of night - and I got to get my snuggle on with this sweet girl.

She is the cutest. Sigh.

Sunday after my cooking marathon and closet swap out, I decided to skip my usual body pump/dance trance and do a long walk outside with Buddy to take advantage of the warm spring weather. Then I eeked out the last bit of Sunday night light on the porch with my feet propped up, a coconut popsicle and a magazine.

It was a good balanced weekend, although I still felt a little sad that the alarm went off and Monday showed up yet again. In fact, I kinda wished I could join this guy and spend the rest of the morning right here:

Somehow I turned this into a two-for-one blog post...prompts from my calendar digressed into a weekend update. Oh well, I'm running with it.

Rabbit, Rabbit!

Happy First of February!

Some more thought provoking questions from my Happiness Project Page-A-Day Calendar…

• Definitely to go to bed early and wake up early.  I loooove going to bed, and I also love the wee hours of the morning when you wake up early and the world is still very still and quiet.  One of my very favorite things is to travel to the west coast and stay on east coast time – to go to bed exhausted at 9 pm and wake up super refreshed at 6 am. 
• My favorite parts of my ordinary day are first thing in the morning when I get up and sit on the couch and check my email, and Buddy snuggles up on my feet – and in the winter, that’s paired with coffee and the fireplace and in the summer, that sun is coming up and it might even be warm enough to sit outside.  My other favorite parts of my ordinary days are my work outs – especially on Dance Trance days, cooking dinner and eating with Matt on nights he is home and reading before bed. 
• My perfect day would start off with writing first thing in the morning, followed by a workout and a big breakfast.  Then I’d do my coaching mid-morning to early afternoon, which is usually when I’m most personable and attentive.  I’d end the workday with emails or other reading – things that require less mental attention than coaching or writing.  Then I’d cook dinner (which I don’t get to do every night because of my work schedule), walk Buddy and hang out with Matt or a friend – ending the day with wine and a good book.  (Ok, can I pretty please have that day every day?)  I don’t totally know how to answer that last question – I do feel like I am doing the best I can do make room for the things I love (working out, cooking, writing) within the confines of my long workday plus commute (and my unwillingness to give up anymore sleep!).

Can You Choose What You Like To Do?

This phrase really resonated with me when I read it in the Happiness Project.  When I saw it in my calendar today, I come back to same thought I had when I first heard it: gardening.
 
I really like the idea of gardening.  I like the idea of little pots of herbs and vegetables tumbling over on a back deck. I love in the summer when my friends give me their bounties of homemade basil, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers - last year, I had a field day making salsa and pesto from all these goodies.  I always think "I should do this!!"
 
Matt planted a whole bunch of flowers around our mailbox last year.  He did all the hard work of planting, and asked me to do the upkeep of watering.
 
Good thing he knows me well enough to know I’d forget after a week.

I really like the idea of gardening, but when it comes right down to it, I realize I don't actually like gardening.  I like to be outside.  I like the way flowers look.  I like fresh grown veggies.  I hear people say that weeding is therapeutic to them and there's not a single ounce of me that can relate to that.  I can think of a hundred other things I’d rather do besides be in my yard. I just don't like gardening.
 
I also don't like scrapbooking.  I don't like hiking.  I don't like concerts that don't have lyrics.   I don't like bowling.  These are all things that somewhere along the line, I've felt like I should like or I've tried to make myself like doing.  It feels kind of nice to just embrace the fact that I don't really like these things - but my brain still keeps fighting against this concept.

I like writing.  I like dancing.  I like snowboarding.  I like sitting on a couch with my feet curled up under me talking to a friend until I've lost track of the hours.  I like reading books.  I like cooking and reading recipe magazines.  I like doing crafts.  I like lifting weights.  I like popular, top 10, overplayed music. 

Isn't a weird concept?  That you don't really choose what you like to do?  I often wonder if I did something more often - gardening, for example - I'd learn to like it.  After all, I didn't really like running when I started.  But then again, I didn't dislike it.  I did it initially because I didn't know what else to do after I stopped cheerleading.  I've done it to lose weight, to get over break ups, to manage stress and to complete an accomplishment.  But this year, I've realized I've just been running because, well, I like it.  And so maybe I have all along…
 
I'm a bit torn on this idea.  It seems fairly obvious to me, when I think about my likes and dislikes.  All of them are things I either tried because they looked appealing to me (snowboarding, crafting, hiking) and either found I like or didn't like them.  Or they were things I've been doing for as long as I can remember (dancing, reading books, writing.)  I can't help but wonder if it's true that you can choose what you like to do or not, or if preferences can be developed over time with intention.  What do you think?