I don't think there's anything wrong with using my blog to talk about bad days. In fact, I don’t think it serves anyone to slap rose colored glasses on when blogging, especially about the realities of newborn wrangling. Even so, something kept me from hitting publish on it.
Later, when I was feeding Bo in the wee hours of the morning and was gazing down at his beautiful eyelashes in the soft glow of the iPhone light as I surfed Pinterest (sorry baby), I came across one of those little platitude printables that are a dime a dozen on the ol' Pinterest these days. I paused it on for a second and it spoke to me, so I repinned it. The words replayed themselves in my head for the next few days.
Then it hit me today. I was walking around Walmart with a fussy baby in the Ergo, spit-up on both of our shirts (happened in the parking lot - of course), bouncing and shushing and trying to grab a can of Enfamil, some command hooks and a new eyeliner before the imminent meltdown hit. To anyone's eyes, I might have looked at a little frazzled, a little sleep deprived and maybe a little stressed. (Then again, I was at Walmart... I probably looked pretty darn put together for that particular outing. Spit up on my shirt and all.) Despite all that I realized, there in the 20 item or less check out line, that I was the most content I have ever been. And that I was actually really, really lucky.
Sure, there are some ugly days. There are are screaming fits, nap rebellions, quadruple outfit changes in one day, constant worry and never, ever, ever enough sleep. There is all that. But there is a healthy, beautiful and generally happy baby. There are gummy smiles that crack my heart open. There are two of us who love him and love each other. There is enough money in the bank account to buy said Enfamil (and command hooks and eyeliner.) That is enough.
And that's why, at least today, I am deleting the long post about The Screamies. I’m reminding myself, even in the midst of the meltdown, that these moments are fleeting and I will indeed look back at them with rose colored glasses. And that right now, in the middle of it all, I will try not to take our messy, sleep deprived, laundry filled, sweet life for granted.