More Stories About Bo. And an Awful Lot of Photos.

April! It just kind of came and went before I had time to blink. I sort of thought April would be kind of slow and relaxed after we got home from the beach, but... joke's on me! And here it is, nearly mid-May. Thoughts of first birthday parties are already starting to swirl in my head… how can it be?

I haven't blogged in awhile because I haven't felt like I had anything in particular to say … or maybe that it's I had too much to say, and didn't know where to start or what to leave out. But I have taken a whole lot of really cute pictures and they need a place to go so I thought I'd just open up a blank post and see what happens. 

Bo has had a bunch of play dates recently… it's amazing to me to see how much in the last month he's changed in the way he interacts with other little kids. He is fascinated to watch big kids play, and loves when they show interest in him. I love watching his friendship with Zoey bloom and hear her sweet voice when she says "Bo! Bo! Bo!" when she spies him. 

About a month ago, he started rolling and now he is unstoppable. It cracks me up to see him spot something across the room that he wants and just roll - roll - roll over to get it. He can also scoot backwards when he's on our hardwood floors, but on the carpet it sort of looks like he's doing the worm. I know I've been pretty lucky he's been a little slow to get moving, but I'm pretty terrified for what awaits me once he really does.

When he's falling asleep, he pulls his arm into his shirt and sucks on the sleeve. I often find him after a nap with his arm totally inside his shirt. Today I learned the hard way how important those long sleeves really are - he went down for a nap in short sleeves and kept grabbing at his wrists for the longest time, confused. When he woke up mid-nap, it became VERY apparent than no sleeves meant no self soothing and NO going back to sleep. Lesson learned. My boy doesn't need a paci, a blankie or a lovey to sleep - just long sleeves. Funny boy.

We started swim classes this week. It is really just a fun excuse to play in the pool at the Y before it's warm enough to go to the pool at the club, but so far, he seems to love it. They have us do things like put them on a kick board and encourage them to kick but Bo's clearly much more in it for the socializing than the skills. He's  content to smile at all the other kids, slap the water and hear his "outside voice" echo in the loud pool room.

He has what my mom refers to as a "healthy curiosity." Kid doesn't miss a beat. He wants to hold everything he sees me holding, eat everything he sees me eating (my new diet: don't eat in front of Bo!), drink everything he sees me drinking. He is endlessly amused by every day household items like empty water bottles, the crinkle of an empty paper bag, straws, spoons and of course, the magical glow of the iPhone. I've made a point to try and put my phone away when I'm around him more - which is probably a good thing to do anyways - because the minute he sees it, he wants nothing more in the world than to hold it. With his gums. 

He's fun, he's busy, he's a little bit dramatic, he's funny, he's sweet. I could fill up pages and pages of blog posts just talking about our days, which is why I sometimes just don't write at all. I feel like I have so much I could say, that just a little bit won't do it justice. But, these are some snapshots of our life right now and they give me a perfect segway for an random, not in any order, not totally related to these stories photo dump.

 

Leaning In, Leaning Back and Making Choices {A Book Review}

My book club is meeting tonight at 6 pm to discuss our most recent read, Lean In. I have been anticipating the conversation for almost a month - all of us crowded around a large, wooden table with generous pours of wine and cheese or pastries to accompany our conversations. I have been curiously awaiting the opinions of the women in this group - most in their late 20's or early 30s, working professional, (most) pre-children. They're the demographic I think Sandberg was thinking of when she wrote it, and I'm wondering how the book resonated with them as they turned the pages and read her words.

I won't know, because I won't be there. At 6 pm, I'll be giving my baby his last bottle, sniffing the almond smell of his shampoo lingering from his bath and watching his long eyelashes fall heavy on his cheek. I'll be missing a conversation I've waited eagerly for, but that's okay. I'll be right where I'm supposed to be. 

It's hard sometimes, to miss out on stuff you want to do. That's just part and parcel of parenting, right? I told myself early on one day "the sooner you accept that you are no longer in control, the easier this will be." And I did and it has been, and it's allowed me to realize that the days of my baby (and future babies?) being so tiny are going to be heartbreakingly short. Rather than lament the missed book clubs, cancelled lunch dates or inability to keep up with my former 4-times-a-week Dance Trance schedule, acknowledging the brevity of this time period in my life has allowed me to savor it. And when I do, it is breathtaking how sweet it is. 

I consider it an absolute privilege that I have the opportunity to be home with Bo. I try to make sure Matt knows how much I appreciate the fact that he heads out the door to work every day and affords us both the chance for me to be home with our baby. I know it is not what every woman chooses to do and I know that there are many women who would choose to do so but are not able to. I know there are many women who are torn between both. I don't begrudge anyone their path.  I simply acknowledge how fortunate I was to be able to choose. 

That's why it surprised me that I liked Sheryl Sandberg's book as much as I did. As a woman who had chosen to put her career on hold and stay home with her baby, I expected to whole-heartedly disagree with her message. Before I read the book, what I had gathered from other reviews of it was that it was a rah-rah-rah book for women who wanted to be leaders in the workplace, who wanted to push forward mightily with their careers and be the next CEO. I've never had grand ambition of that manner and didn't expect to resonate with the Sheryl, who obviously does. 

And her book certainly was a rah-rah-rah message for woman who want to be leaders in the workplace. There's plenty of motivation and inspiration for the next generation of women who want to sit at the table and take the helm. But, what surprised me the most, was how the overarching theme of her book was not that this was the only path that women should be on… the book was about having the opportunity to choose. Choice is the very thing I am most thankful for, and what I wish every woman had. What I believe every woman should have. 

I didn't love everything about the book, and I didn't agree with everything in it. In fact, I sometimes found it contradictory or confusing - which could be slightly accounted for the fact that I listened to it in my car and probably had my attention divided between the road, the book, the baby in the car seat and the anxious dog in the way back. But I didn't hate it or passionately disagree with it, which is exactly what I anticipated going into it. 

I was genuinely surprised by how much I learned from it or points I found myself nodding along in agreement to. Some of the research she shared that resonated with me helped me recognize critical moments throughout my own education and career. And then, some of the moments I wholeheartedly disagreed with her forced me to think through and articulate (at least to myself) what some of my values and belief were. 

In short (and because nap time is almost over), it is a good read. It's a worthy read. I think anything that broadens the conversation about the choices women have to make, or should be able to make, is a good thing. It's a book I'd recommend anyone read, if only to be able to add their own voice to the conversation. Even if on some days it feels like the only leadership skills you're currently using are directing the plastic spoon to keep mashed bananas out of someone's hair...

9 Months

Bowen :: Nine Months Old

Weight: At his 9 month appointment, he was 20 lbs 5 oz which leaves him squarely in the 50th percentile again. He's still a shrimp at 27 inches, just 10th percentile for height. He's mostly wearing 9 month onesies, pajamas, shirts and shorts although some of his one piece rompers are 12 mo to account for those chubby little thighs. 

Eats: He drinks 4 bottles a day - 3 are 7 oz and one 3 oz. Some days the stretch from his 2nd to 3rd bottle goes longer and I end up not doing his 4th bottle, because it'd basically be bottle-dinner (food)-bottle all within a couple hours. It doesn't seem to affect his sleeping (or ability to fall asleep) so I've been leaving that night time bottle out more and more. Food! Oh my gosh, this was the month of eating. He has tried so many new foods this month, with much enthusiasm. He's eating a lot more finger foods now - little pieces of bread, French toast, black beans, steamed carrots. He doesn't like to touch anything slimy so while he's enthusiastic about bananas, mangoes and avocados, he is not interested in picking them up himself. I've also started pureeing a lot of whatever we're having for dinner if it's not too seasoned, and that seems to be going over well too. Never knew my 9 month old would enjoy chicken marsala (spaghetti and all, in puree form) so much. 

Sleeps: This month has been a little weird with sleep as we've started to really drop the 3rd nap. If we're out running errands, sometimes he'll still snooze but if we're home, I try not to put him down so it won't affect his night sleep… and this has meant that some nights he's in bed as early as 6:00 or 6:30. He has started waking up at 6:40 like clockwork, and since he doesn't cry out - just jabbers to himself and roll around - I leave him until 7:00. I haven't been able to pinpoint what's caused my former 7:00/7:30 riser to shift things back, and noticed it's been stable whether he goes to bed earlier or later, drinks more formula or less, is fussy the day before or calm… obviously, I've been a little obsessed with trying to return to our later wake time, but to no avail. He wakes up every morning delightfully happy and squeals with excitement when I come in his room, so I guess he's just ready to start the day then! (I'll be sure to remind him of this when he's 16 by coming in HIS room at 6:30.)

Milestones: Rolling! We are finally rolling. I say this with some relief, as he was definitely slow to hit the first mobility milestone, but some despair as I know the rest are now right around the corner. Right in the middle of this month, he started rolling over and now he's unstoppable. If he spies a toy he wants, he's off and rolling for it. He's totally pleased with himself too. He's babbling a mile a minute, including a little something I like to call "the screamies." The screamies, coincidentally, are usually at their peak when Matt is trying to sleep during the day after working nights. He's become incredibly aware of where I am in a room, and though he's still good at independent play, he is quick to let me know he'd like to me to come back into his line of vision. We've had lots of play dates this month, and it's fun to see him actually begin to interact with other kiddos. 

Likes: Oatmeal, puffs, Greek yogurt, the buckles on his high chair, bath time, screaming, screeching, yelling, shouting (LOUD!), kicking his crib rails, rolling, his Buddy dog, anything that crinkles, FaceTiming (he can barely hold himself still with wiggles when he sees people come on the iPhone screen), yanking my glasses off my face, his Daddy playing "gonna getcha", doing Paddy cake. 

Dislikes: having the iPhone taken away (especially when he had plans to chew on it), the end of a bottle, having his hair rinsed, getting his clothes changed, being overtired, shopping, picking up slimy foods.

Oh my goodness! What a month it has been. I feel like every month I claim it was my favorite so far, and then it just gets better. It's sad to see the slipping away of my baby boy every month as he barrels full steam ahead into a little boy, but it also gets more and more fun to hear our house fill up with the sound of shrieks, laughter, babble and the percussion instrument known as "upside down toy bucket." Bo's personality is starting to emerge, and I feel like I am getting a glimpse into a future where I will have my hands very, very full. As my mom often says in reply to the numerous photos she receives of Bo investigating various household objects: "this boy has an extremely healthy curiosity." I have a feeling each month ahead of us is going to be more fast paced than the next, and I just hope Matt and I can keep up with this little 20 pound scientist with a slight flair for the dramatics. We are certainly going to enjoy the ride. 

 

Feather The Nest Baby Shower

When our friends Anne and Locke told us last fall that they were pregnant, we were so thrilled for them… and for the future playmate that Bo was going to have! It's been so fun having one of my best friends go through all the stages of pregnancy that I feel like I just left behind… and I have to say, Anne is one seriously cute pregnant lady.

It was a joy to throw her baby shower for her this weekend and help her get one step closer to welcoming her little boy. My friend Caroline and I had so much fun planning out the details of her "Feather the Nest" shower.

Anne had so many wonderful friends and family members show up to celebrate baby Glenn. We were even so lucky to be able to have one of our closest friends, Akanksha, who moved away at the end of her husband's residency fly in from St Louis to celebrate with us. Anne is the oldest of four sisters and this little boy will be the first grandbaby on both sides. I think it's safe to say he's going to spoiled and loved to pieces.

Hopefully this was just the start of all that spoiling…

Winos, Babies and Juice

Whenever we come back from a vacation or wave good-bye to visitors for a week, I find myself saying "Oh I am so ready for our normal routine!" 

Spoiler alert: there is never any normal routine. 

Right after we got back from the beach, I headed over to Raleigh for a quick visit. Pam had flown down from Boston to meet Emily's baby, and both she and Jess (up from Charlotte) were there for the weekend. I couldn't have 4 winos be together 2 hours away from me and not go, so I loaded up poor Bowen into his car seat again and we set off. 

Em and I always talk about how Bo and Cameron are going to be such great buds, but right now Bo is much more interested in older sister, Claire (2 yo). He could not take his eyes off her and she loved bringing him toys to hold or books to look at. We had a wonderful time visiting with each other, as always, including a lunch outing to Mellow and then your typical mid-afternoon juice sesh. (Explanation: Jess has become a juice convert and we were all very curious about the process and convinced her to bring her equipment and a crap ton of kale and beets. She obliged.)

Just to keep true to our roots though, we followed up the juice session with some champagne. Bo surprised me by taking a 2-hour nap at Emily's house - something he hasn't done in months at home - so I got some extra quality time with my girls before hitting the road to get home for bedtime. 

A few hours isn't long enough, but it will have to tide me over til the next winocation! 

And one last photo… when I got home that night and texted everyone to tell them I was home. Emily sent me this photo of everyone texting me at the same time. It's nice to know even when you're not there, you can still be there.

The Beach

Another year, another Claffey family beach trip! There were, however, quite a few changes from last year. For starters, instead of showing off a small baby belly, I was showing off a (not so small) baby. Easter was also much earlier this year, and the weather gods were not so kind to us. We had one day we were able to sit on the beach, but the rest were a little chilly and windy. We had a smaller crew than usual this year. In the past, we've had as many as 19 family members on one trip. For most of this week, it was just my parents, my sister and Bo and I. My 2 aunts and their daughters were there for the weekend but their spring breaks didn't coincide, and they headed back on Monday.

We were indoors most of the week but it still felt like a vacation. With lots of extra eyes and hands around for Bo, I took advantage by sleeping in, taking a few naps and tackling a huge project: organizing a mere decade's worth of digital photos on my external hard drive. You know, one of those projects that always gets pushed aside for the tasks of daily living… or never gets tackled because it is just too darn overwhelming. (I managed to get through 2003-2011… now the trick is making myself finish the last 1.5 years back home.)

It was a quiet and relaxing week, a nice little escape from the day to day. I ended up heading back a day early due to near-hurricane like conditions on the forecast and a Daddy who was missing his little boy. Our drive home was an eventful cap to a low key week (pouring rain! crying baby! barking dog!) but we made it safe and sound and it didn't counteract the relaxing effects of the week too much.