Happenings

Last weekend my friend Heather came to visit me. We've been friends for almost six years, when she was my bright-eyed and helpful intern at Wake. We've forged a bestie-ship ever since and have driven back and forth across many miles for visits and catch up sessions. Recently, she moved to Nashville from Connecticut putting her back in road trip distance. She came over to meet the kiddo and we had a fun weekend of catching up on each other's lives, creating secret Pinterest boards, eating Camino pastries and turning our teeth purple with a few bottles of wine.





On Monday, I met my friend Megan - who I originally met over Twitter and who is from my husband's hometown - at Mellow Mushroom for lunch. She was in town to do some shopping and we had a chance to catch up and let our little boys get to know each other. Bo was quite taken with Henry, but I'm not sure the admiration was mutual.



On Thursday, I went and got my hairs did. If I somehow find myself in a situation with an excessive amount of discretionary income, I will go get my hair done on a near-weekly basis. (At least just shampoo and blow-dried.) It is probably one of my favorite experiences in life. Over the last year, I have been going darker and darker and have now officially crossed over into the world of brunettes.



My experience at the hair salon included a brush with fame. While she was putting color on my hair, my stylist happened to mention that a regular client of hers who is a NASCAR driver, was going to be coming in with a film crew to be taped having his hair cut as part of a "Day in the Life" documentary.

Well then.

(I honestly didn't know who this guy was except that he had happened to be on Duck Dynansty this morning. So there's that.)



I kept getting nervous he'd talk to me and I'd be that awkward person who said something really stupid on camera but luckily, the only time he talked to me the film crew had stepped away. I was still that totally awkward person who said something really stupid though.

This week, the kiddo has not been in a great mood. I'm wondering if there are pearly whites waiting to bust through his little gums. I guess that would make me rather pissy too. It's tough to see him in a bad mood, because he's usually such a pleasant little guy. This picture pains me - the little furrowed brow! Woe is me!



Being a baby seems like it's really hard sometimes.

On Friday, we had friends over for dinner. Matt made baby back ribs and I made Barefoot Contessa cosmopolitans. And some other food stuff, but the cosmos were really my pride and joy.



Yesterday, I went to Teri's house to trade life skills. I helped her organize her email inboxes and come up with some systems to manage incoming mail and she taught me how to blow-dry my hair holding a round brush. Pretty sure we both left each other's company feeling ready to take on the world anew. Clean inboxes and a good blow out are some pretty huge life skills.

Also, her dog usually shuns me because I almost always my own dog or tiny baby in tow. This time, we were best buds. Although this picture indicates otherwise.



Last night, we had dinner with my sister-in-law, her boyfriend and his kids at East Coast Wings. It occurred to me since Bo is sitting up on his own on the floor, that he could now up in a high chair. I plopped him in one and immediately felt tears come to my eyes to see how grown up he looked.

The same thing happened today when I realized he could hold his bottle on his own. I am pretty sure this is how people end up with a half a dozen kids when you mourn every stage of babyhood passing.



And the next thing I know, it's Sunday night again! These weeks really do go by so fast, and having our month carved out into every other week on/off work schedules makes the month fly by. I'm sure the ER work schedule would drive some people crazy - and granted, it's not the greatest at the holidays - but I really love our non-traditional schedule. It's so great to have him home on random weekdays and we try to make the most of his time off from work.

Money Talks. I Hate to Listen.

Let's talk about budgeting! This is exciting, yes?

The other day on my Twitter feed someone posted that one of her goals for the year was to work on her personal budget and wanted to know other people's tips for budgeting. I started to answer, but realized I had more than 140 characters worth of thoughts on the subject. (Me? Struggling with brevity? NEVER.)

Not to toot my own horn, but I happen to think I am pretty good at budgeting and I'm sort of fascinated by the psychology of money. Since I don't write about much besides babies babies babies these day I thought I'd capitalize on the fact that I was feeling inspired by this topic to share some thoughts.

First, some background. (See? Already any hope of brevity has been dashed.) My dad is a financial advisor, so money and budgeting is something that was always talked about in my family. It was never a taboo subject and my parents made a point to educate us on the topic. We received an allowance and had to split it between a savings account and spending it on stuff we wanted (budgeting 101!). I distinctly remember my shock when my Dad asked me to cough up some of my baby-sitting money at 18 to help fund an IRA. My thoughts on that today? Compounding interest for the win! 

I'm not exactly financially literate when it comes to things like reading a 401k benefits explanation (blerg) and words like dividends and market cap still feel very slippery to me. However, I think the fact that we talked about money in my family and I had a pretty early introduction to some basic concepts was a big boost to my confidence in handling money and budgeting. 

I don't have a business degree but I've got the basics down: I've avoided having consumer debt, I've got liquid savings and I can honestly say I have pretty great willpower when it comes to most impulse buys. (Let's not discuss the fact that we oh so in debt when it comes to our combined education loans... but we are aggressively chipping away at those bad boys. And they were worth it.) 

So, now that I've rambled a bit and bragged a bit, I thought I'd share some thoughts on how I handle budgeting.

First, the logistical part. I've used a tracking tool ever since I first started having my own expenses in college. First I just used a hand-written ledger, then an Excel spreadsheet, then Quicken and now, today Mint.com. Using a tool like this has always put it in black and white how much is coming in, how much is going out and most importantly, where it's going. This is very important when you love Starbucks as much as I do. 

Mint is totally brainless and I can't think of any reason to not use it. You link it to your financial accounts and it automatically updates. You may have to occasionally recategorize transactions but even that is a simple and fast step. You can pull up trends by month, 6 month or year time frame and see exactly what percentage of your spending goes to each category. You can also set budgets and get a text message or email when you've gone over. Bam. Brainless. This is a real life screenshot of my spending trends from last month from Mint.

The other thing I've done is taken savings out of my paycheck at the start of each month. I'm a firm believer that you'll make do with what you have each month and if the money is gone already, you likely won't miss it. (If you put in a liquid account, like an ING savings account, it can be easily accessed if you have an emergency.) When I had my first real paycheck job but was living the oh-so-expensive life in DC, I only put $25 a month away. Still, seeing that little egg grow each month made me happy - and I certainly didn't miss that $25. I never touched that emergency fund and to this day, continue to contribute to it.

However, I think tracking tools and auto deductions are just the tip of the iceberg. I see a strong parallel with financial tracking tools and weight loss tracking tools. Calorie counting has been my number one recommendation for weight loss for over a decade - but it rarely works as a stand alone. Even when we know what our budget is (calorie or money), a lot of decisions about where to spend it are not exactly logic-based. (Again, calories and money.)

Here's where I've had to do the most "work" around money and I'm hoping that what I share will be helpful. For years, I budgeted from a place of fear. I never carried debt and I saved like a squirrel, but all of my actions were rooted in fear of not having enough. I was so afraid of getting in over my head with debt that I swung the other way and I rarely allowed myself any indulgences. When I did spend money beyond what I had budgeted, I felt nauseous about it.

While I was meeting my primary goal of not getting in debt and saving extra, I never felt good about money. I constantly worried about it, beyond what was really necessary and reasonable. (Real talk: I basically did the exact same thing with calories for many years.) But a few years ago I decided I was sick and tired of being in knots when it come to spending money. So the first thing I did was try to work on having an mindset of "enough." When I would write a check for a bill or swipe my credit card at the grocery store, I would take a deep breath and say to myself "I have enough." I found this statement to be really calming for some reason, and slowly but surely the little tension knot I had in my stomach began to release when it came to handling money.

During this time, my money situation didn't change at all - just how I felt about money. During both my mindset of "scarcity" and my mindset of "enough," I had the same income, I continued to use tracking tools, I set aside savings and I never carried excess debt. The only thing that was significantly different was how I felt about money - but that alone was a HUGE deal to me. After a year or so of working on my mindset, I felt more generous and less stressed. I felt happy when I could buy a friend's glass of wine instead of stressing about it. I could drop money in the basket at church with a giving heart. I didn't panic and want to throw up when a car repair was a little more than I expected. That change alone was a big, big deal to me.

When I switched jobs from Wake to Aetna, my paycheck changed significantly. For the first time in my life, we actually had more than enough. It was kind of mind-boggling to me, to be honest. We increased our savings and chipped away a little more aggressively at our debt, but it was the first time in my life where I felt like I could just buy a pair of shoes I wanted or shop at Harris Teeter without coupons (gasp!) or buy the bottle of wine at dinner instead of the glass. It was the first time in my life where I ever had to really contend with impulse buys. Because really, that's what most of those things were. When I started to notice the pendulum was maybe starting to the swing the other way - in other words, when I had four or five items in a Boden cart and was about to hit "buy" without a second thought - I realized I had to do a little more work again around money.

I really don't like owning a lot of stuff and it didn't really jive with me to just be buying stuff because we had more money. I hate the feeling of an overcrowded closet, or looking in my make up bag and seeing 10 lipsticks I don't wear or having books sit on my shelf that I could get from the library. The act of overbuying didn't feel good to me - so I went back to my thoughts again. (I'm a life coach, yes I am.) This time instead of "I have enough," the thought that keeps me in check from impulse buys is "I am content." When I'm about to buy a shirt at Target just because it's cute, I stop and think to myself "I am content ... with the clothes I have." When I want to swing by and pick up lunch out somewhere because it's easier than making a sandwich at home, I think to myself "I am content...with the food I have at home." When I'm about to click "submit" on Amazon Prime for yet another baby item, I think to myself "I am content...with the outfit/toy/bottle/what-the-heck-is-this-thing that Bo already has." This has definitely helped as our money situation has changed again, and I've left my job at Aetna and we've become a one-income family and had to reign our extra spending.

I feel like right now I've find a good happy-medium with my money mindset. I'm never as stressed or as anxious about money as I was a few years ago, but I also quickly put my "ooh, so much extra!!" mindset in check after just a few months and with just a few extra pairs of shoes as collateral damage.  Today, I still clip coupons to grocery shop but I will pick up a friend's coffee with a happy heart. I still buy clothes or lipstick or lattes... I just wait a little longer and think a little harder before swiping the card. It's a good place to be and I'm kind of proud of what I've done to purposefully get here.

Our money situation will continue to grow and change as our family does and as we have to continually address new, complicated issues like saving for education. (Or praying someone will be a kicker and get a football scholarship!) While I know I'll always continue to use a lot of the tools that have helped me with budgeting throughout the years, I also know my mindset is the biggest tool I have in managing my money. I never felt like I had any control over my thoughts around money, but learning that I do AND that changing my thoughts changes my behaviors has been the best budgeting tool ever.

****

(Bonus points if you know what song my title is from. That lyric bopped in my head the whole time I wrote this!) 

Life After College Doesn’t Have to Suck: A Book Review

I am the wrong person to write this review.  For starters, this book is written for college graduates (the soon-to-be, the just-last-week, and the-few-years-ago.)  Considering I recently felt morally obligated to stop using my student ID at Harris Teeter about 2 years ago, I think I am (sadly) out of the context of college graduate.

Secondly, I picked up Life After College Doesn’t Have the Suck mainly because I know the author and I was impressed one of my peers had done something I've always wanted to do (written and PUBLISHED a book), and wanted to see what it was all about.  This, of course, makes me moderately biased which I think is fair to state up front.  Nonetheless, my friend Jess asked me the other day if I wouldn’t get on Goodreads (because I fear getting sucked into another social media outlet), if I would at least blog from time to time when I read something I liked.  So here we are.

I downloaded it on a slow Saturday evening (see: definitely not a recent college graduate) and dove in, figuring I’d read a few chapters to get the gist of it.

I didn't go to bed until I had finished it that night.  I was sucked in immediately, drawn in by the outrageous chapter titles and the fast-clipped, in your face writing style.  I may not be the target audience for this book, but I was highlighting lines, nodding my head and literally stopped twice to text the author to tell him I was laughing out loud at certain points. 

Let's get down to it.  I want you to buy the book (and John Murdock, the author, does too) so I'll be sparse in my details about content.  The basic premise is that while it used to be a pretty safe bet that a 4-year degree was the all-express pass to The Perfect Job post college, the times they are a changing.  And yet… no one really seems to be passing that memo along to college students (and recent grads) until they get out in the "real world."  And when they get there, they are flailing and have no idea what to do.

I think this topic is incredibly relevant.  We're hearing more and more about the burgeoning student debt problem as it's taking college grads longer and longer to find employment, along with the rest of the country.  We’re still churning high school students out on to the conveyer belt to the 4 year liberal arts school with little to no warning that the next stop of the fulfilling, quickly obtained, lucrative career is becoming more and more elusive.

I love that this book is addressing this issue, but more importantly, I love the way Murdock addresses the issue.  He's pretty blunt.  I have to admit, I was taken aback at first.  I'm a long time reader of personal development blogs like White Hot Truth and The Happiness Project, and I'm much more accustomed to ingesting information in quirky, happy sound bites.  My initial gut reaction was to be put off by the shock-value tone. But there is enough humor after the initial blows to balm the wounds and keep the reader going. The more I got into the book, I realized that the HEY YOU! WAKE UP! tone is exactly what’s needed. It's a fine art to know when to wield tough love and I think he gets it right here.

I was also initially struck by the brevity of the book. The chapters are short, the points are made quickly and then it’s on to the next thing. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this delivery was actually perfected suited to the intended readership too. John's writing to the audience that is 100% accustomed to getting information in feeds, tweets and texts. Information is ingested quickly before moving on to the next salient point. If his goal was to capture the attention of the recent college grad, shake them by the shoulders, scare them a little bit, then reassure them it was going to be okay – if they were willing to make the effort to make it that way - he hit the nail on the head.

The book is timely and arrives on the cusp of a conversation about the unique problems the next generation of worker bees is facing. They're at the intersection of Steve Job's admonishment to "keep looking" and the economy's advice to "take whatever you can get."

My sense was the book is meant to be a catalyst. It's not a how to guide to find the perfect job after college, but he succinctly addresses the common pitfalls college grads are falling in to and outlines some basic ways to change course. It’s a must-read for any soon-to-be or recent college grads, but it’s also an interesting read for anyone who is participating in the conversation of what’s next for Gen Y in the workforce. If the reader finishes the book and feels like there IS a 3rd option between a soul-sucking corporate existence that pays the bills and bunking in Mom & Dad's basement until inheritance kicks in, then John has succeeded.

******

You can pick up the e-book here, read more on John’s blog here or follow The Young Professional on Twitter. 

And the necessary disclaimer: I was not paid to read or review the book.  All opinions are mine and all moola spent was mine.

Sunday Funday

It may not sound like much fun, but today I did something that desperately needed to be done: I washed my car.

After a trip back up and down the mountains, toting around people who had been hiking and bouldering, and endless travels with my doggy in my backseat my car needed some TLC like nobody’s business.  I usually take it to one of those places where you turn the keys over and go sit in a nice air conditioned room and in 15 minutes, you have a lovely clean car, but it was such a nice day out I decided to tackle it myself.

I think my husband nearly fell over in shock when he called from work and heard what I was doing.  I’m not exactly known for keeping my car clean… but when you drive a dog around four or five times a week, it’s tough to keep it up.  Matt has told me my next car will be an old CJ Jeep with a plug in the floor that we can just turn the hose on and clean off.

Little does he know I BEGGED my Dad for this car in high school.  My dad told me I would roll it.

What’s up with the men in my life and their absolute faith in my ability to take care of a car?

Usually Buddy wants to be where ever I am.  But today it was so hot, he contented himself with having his body inside with the air conditioning and his head where he could see me.  Oh, Budster.

And this is sadly the first little bit of sun I’ve gotten all summer.  I tried to make sure I didn’t get any funky tan lines since I’m going to be a bridesmaid for my sister in 2 week!

Made that mistake once…

The rest of my weekend was filled with the usual: laundry, planning our meals for the week, getting caught up on emails… so it was a nice change of pace to do something outside for a change of pace.  Even if it was so sweltering hot, I had to be a little redneck and drink out of the hose.  (Is that even safe?  Please don’t tell me if it’s totally gross, I’d rather not know.)

I just love the summer weekends.

Yesterday, Frame by Frame.

Sunday.

We were lazy.  We watched TV allllllll morning.

And made a big giant mess by cooking 3 dishes all at once.

But then happily ate off said food for a week.  Full fridge!

I mowed the lawn.

And was invited to the neighbor’s for smoked pork shoulder.

It was a tough day.

Social Media

I love how technology brings people together.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I am sorry for every sock I left on the floor.

Every sneaker kicked off at the door.

Every notebook of paper sprawled and neglected on the kitchen table.

Every half-drank soda left on a side table.

Every time I didn’t appreciate all you did to keep our house from looking like a tornado spun through it, daily.

Every week Matt and I scratch our heads and wonder who the people are who came through our house and trashed it.

Every few days, we roll up our sleeves and put it back together and breathe a collective sigh of relief and say “There! Now let’s try really hard to keep it this way.”

Every few days…

(Seriously, anyone got any tricks for keeping your house put together during a busy week?  Jamie Forsey, I’m looking at you.)

A Good Day

I love my extra day off.  Sometimes it is a day for productivity, sometimes it allows me to take a quick road trip, sometimes I just schlep around for fun and sometimes it is all of those things rolled into one.

Today I started my day by dropping in on the Starbucks near Buddy’s daycare for some oatmeal and a “dirty chai” (my new favorite: chai latte w/ a shot of espresso).  When I checked in on Foursquare I was told the mayor was “in the house.”  I love me social media.  I got a chance to sit and share some good bean and even better conversation with Teddy Burriss, someone I had previously only conversed with on Twitter, and started off the day on such a positive, friendly note.

I hit the road and headed for Raleigh to spend the morning with Emily, and take some pictures of her 3-month old Claire.  The last time I was in Raleigh, a few weeks after Claire was born, I had a terrible cold and had to admire Claire from afar.  How many seconds was in the house before I asked to snuggle her this time? Hmm, maybe 30?

Ok, that’s not totally true… she was napping when I got there, so her momma and I shared a delicious meal of Chick-Fil-A and caught up on life.  I love my girlfriends.  Spending time with them, whether it is one-on-one or in a big group together, just fills me such happiness.  It’s been a crazy year for the winos – it’s hard to believe it was a year ago that we were in Sonoma together.  Since then, our get togethers have been centered around big events like Jessie’s wedding, Claire’s birth and Jenny’s birthday.  It was nice to just sit and talk with no agenda – it transported me back to the slow, unhurried days of being college together.  (7 years ago?! Unpossible!!) 

Once Claire woke up, I got to work sticking my camera lens in her face.  She was a little trooper, but she apparently just discovered OMG! FISTS!!! and my goodness, did she want to investigate them.  Emily and I were in a fit of giggles after awhile, trying to get her to look at Emily, smile, look at the camera, smile, PUT THE FISTS DOWN.  The good news is, if you take 295 pictures of someone, you’re bound to get a few good ones. 

It was nice to spend time with these girls and get to see Emily in mom-mode.  Have you ever had one of those moments when you see someone you’ve known forever in a totally different role and it creates this expansive feeling in your mind where you realize that you know just one small piece of this person?  I felt that way whenever I went to my Mom’s classroom with her and saw her in “teacher mode.”  I felt this way watching Em be in mom-mode.  It’s nice to have those glimpses into people’s lives.  Reminds you that as much or for how long you’ve known a person, there’s still so much of them to learn about.

It was hard to say good-bye to my friend, but I wanted to get back to Winston in time to have dinner with Matt since it was his first night home after 2 weeks of working nights in the PICU.  Before I went back though, I made a pit stop at Jubala Village Coffee, a coffee shop in North Raleigh that a friend of a friend recently opened.  Raleigh people: go visit!  (It’s in Lafayette Village, off Falls of Neuse Rd.)  It’s a gorgeous place… open, airy, reclaimed wood constructed bar and smooth, strong coffees.  Well here, this person did a better job reviewing it… I don’t know why I didn’t get my camera out, since I had it from earlier shoot!  Just means I have to go back.  I hope they do well, and I’m super excited to hear they plan to include a food menu with local and organic food. 

Lafayette Village in Raleigh… can I just pretend I’m in Italy, please?

Next location in Winston?  I hope so.

I got home in time to cook dinner, and it was nice out so we had one of our first meals al fresco.  One of the things that sold us on our house was the back deck and we have definitely made good use of that.  We try to get as many meals outside as we can between now and when the humidity kicks in!  It was nice to have Matt home, as the last few weeks we’ve literally been saying hi on the garage steps as he comes home from his night shift and I headed out to work.  (Buddy is perfectly happy about this arrangement however: sleeps in bed with me all night, goes for a morning walk, and then sleeps in bed all day with Matt.  Doggy heaven.)  His humans, however, much prefer to get to hang out with one another from time to time.

All in all, a good day in this happy little life of mine.  It’s not a thankful Thursday list, but it’s pretty darn close.

An Extra Day

Heather asked me if I felt like I had so much more free time now that I have an extra day off from work every week with my new schedule.  The answer is actually, no… I don’t.  But I feel like I can use my time better and I have more meaningful time, and I think that’s a fair trade.

With the 10-hour day plus a 40-minute commute, I’m basically gone from either 7-7 or 9-9 depending on which of my 2 shifts I have (8:00-6:30 or 9:30-8:00).  I don’t really have time to do many of the things I did after work before: cook dinners, run errands, make social dates.  I sometimes squeeze a workout in on either side of one of those shifts, but that tends to be about it.  But that’s okay: I’ve always believed that doing things in batches in more efficient (thank you, GapKids) and I find that having an extra off day gives me one day to knock out errands, clean house, or visit people I’d have a hard time fitting into a regular week day.  For example, last weekend I drove up to DC which I probably wouldn’t have attempted doing after work on a Friday and in two weeks, I’m making a day trip to Raleigh to photograph my sweet wino niece, Claire. 

My extra day off feels like a freebie: a life maintenance day.  I tend to schedule it to the hilt if I’m in town, but so far the trade off has been that it feels like I’m getting to relax a little bit more on the weekends.  My weeks alternate: one week I have a Thursday off, the next a Friday.

This week was a Thursday, and I had my day planned out to the hour.  That may sound not fun and a little AR, but it makes me happy to be organized and productive.  This was my schedule I wrote out at work the night before.  Please don’t judge, I am one of those people who likes to write things down for the sake of crossing them off.  So yes, “relax” and “wake up” are on my to do list.

You’re judging aren’t you?

I didn’t quite follow this to a T: namely, I started working on the website copy the night before and was feeling total writer’s block and decided that some wine would help things along.  A, ahem, few glasses later I finished it (yes, it requires editing) along with the emails so when I ignored the alarm at 7:00 and didn’t get out of bed til Matt strode in at 7:30 I didn’t feel too bad. 

There’s something liberating, though, about being free on a “work day” that even though I’m doing mostly productive things, it still feels fun.  Like when your Mom would sign you out of school to go to a doctor’s appointment.

I got to go running in the middle of the day, when the sun was shining and hit up the grocery store when the lines were short, and not feel the least bit annoyed that my doctor was running 45 minutes and I was getting docked at work for it.  So there’s that.  (By the way, I love my doc and I try never to gripe about his lateness, because as soon as he gets to my appointment, he sits there as if he has all the time in the world for me and answers every question I come in with, before taking a few minutes to ask about Matt and my running and my work.  I’ll take some extra waiting room time for that kind of bedside manner, thanks.  Unrelated, but I wanted to be clear that I wasn’t really griping about him.)  Anywho, I digress…

I haven’t quite mastered my full day of cooking yet like I had intended to, but Matt has been working evenings this last week in the PICU so our eating schedule has been so off anyways.  I did do a little bit of cooking ahead this weekend, including this lasagna from friend Kathryn and marinating & grilling a whole mess of chicken breasts to throw on top of salads, pasta or sandwiches.  So you know, a few less Lean Cuisines, a few more real cuisine this week. 

All in all, despite the trade off of the extra long days… and they do feel long, but I know lots of people work a 10 hour day without the extra day off, I’m pretty pleased with how this new schedule of mine is working out.

And this guy?  Doesn’t mind me being home an extra day, either. 

Weekending

This was a nice weekend. While I love our road trip weekends or visiting guests weekends, sometimes it's nice to have nowhere to be and nothing to do. Especially, especially when it's all of a sudden 73 degrees right smack dab in the middle of February.

On Saturday, I...

took walks. Multiple ones. In the sunshine. It was heaven.

and did some crafting....

and wrote! Sorry if I broke google reader... I was a blogging fool on Saturday. But it felt so good to catch up. I've been so all-or-nothing when it comes to blogging, but much like my cooking, lately it seems like I've got no time to do little bits here and there, so I end up sitting down and doing it all at once.

According to my GapKids batch tasking rule... I guess that's the way to do it. Although I generally try to blog to keep sort of an online diary, and it's kind of silly to be writing about something that happened 3 weeks ago. But oh well - I guess late is better than never!

Saturday night, we met friends out for dinner - Zac and Jamie, Donna and Matt, Donna's visiting Momma, and Akanksha - at Firebirds. We love Firebirds, but this was a bit of a rough visit for our crew. I tried to call ahead since we were a big group, but the phone just rang and rang and rang...so I assumed - well, no call aheads! When we get there, she asked if we had a reservation... I just groaned because I knew that meant: big ol' wait time. We jammed ourselves in around the crowded bar to settle in for the 45-60 minute wait... when much to our surprise, our buzzer went off after 15 mintues! Joy! Until I handed it to the hostess and her face just crumpled... "Oh... I buzzed the wrong buzzer." Tromp tromp tromp, back to the bar we went. After an hour, it was all I could do not to grab a loaf of their yummy soudough bread from a passing by waiter.

Have I mentioned I started back on steroids again yesterday? No, no I haven't. Insert vicious appetite here. Awesome. (More on that another day.)

FINALLY, we were seated after a little more than an hour and our group started putting in their orders. When the waitress got to Zac, he ordered what he had been thinking about all day long. The look on his face when she told him they were out of the ribs was on par to hearing the news someone had stolen his car. He asked if she was playing a joke on him, and the smile on our perky waitress' face started to waver a little bit. Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Donna - at 22 weeks pregnants - was just now learning that she too would not be having the ribs. It was a soul crushing moment for 2/8ths of our little group.

Despite the long wait and rib fiasco, Firebirds was delicious as usual and we sat there until we were the last group left and anxious glances were being tossed our way. We relocated to the bar area, where the boys watched basketball and the girls talked about jobs, coupons, stroller research, running, and dogs. We're exciting like that. But oh, how I love my Winston friends.

Sunday!

Sunday, I...

... watched Buddy roll around in the yard like a wackadoodle, before taking him on another real walk. I'll be the first to admit our walks have suffered this winter, and he's happy as a pig in slop to be doing the full loop in our neighborhood again.

The DeacDoc asks that you excuse his lawn.

... clipped coupons and perused the aisles of Harris Teeter on "Super Doubles Day!" I don't do the coupon thing too much, but thanks to Jamie and Donna telling me about the SouthernSavers website, I do find myself a little more excited to hunt out the good deals. Although I try to make it a rule not to clip a coupon for something I wouldn't buy regularly, sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in the savings excitement. To see the cash register start off at one amount, and then quickly fall as they swipe your coupons - bee bop, bee bop, bee bop - it's probably as close as I'll get to experiencing something like a slot machine win.

My winnings today? All this loot (plus 2 racks of ribs) for $41, with $50.06 in coupons/store savings. In the light of complete transparency, I spent a kabillion dollars at the grocery store last week for my cook-a-thon so I didn't need much this week. There's not much here to make dinner out of - although they did have both wild caught salmon and flounder on sale - so obviously I'd have had to have made a few more purchases under normal circumstances.

But did you catch that? $50 in savings! Sometimes I wish you had to hand them the regular amount of money, and then they could hand you back the savings. Just because it doesn't really feel REAL... just them telling you how much you saved.

... then I made some ribs, because I think we needed a chicken break. The ribs I make - they are my Dad's famous recipe. They slow cook in the oven for nearly 3 hours til they are fall off the bone tedner. (Yes, I am guessing that the spark for those was lit last night at Firebirds.) While they cooked, I cleaned up the kitchen and pulled together all the random photos, phone pics, vids and tweets from this weekend to capture it into this here blog.

And that? That was our weekend! Just the right amount of getting things done, doing nothing, going outside and going out. And with that, I think I’m ready for the next 5 ahead of me.

Oh Baby!

I have to admit when my friend Page first sent her email with her request my initial reaction was you want me to do what?  See, I love when people ask me to do photographs for them – engagement photos, headshots, babies, just for fun… there’s nothing I love more than being behind my camera lens.  So I was excited that Page was asking Jamie and I if we’d be willing to come photograph her new baby…but a little nervous that she was asking us to photograph her brand new baby.  Like, arriving into the world brand-new.  Jamie and I both readily agreed, but even on the way to the hospital the night that Page was being induced we were a bundle of excitement and nerves.  Where would we stand?  Would we be in the way?  Would we capture the perfect moments of this incredibly amazing moment in this family’s life?  Would we ever decide to have children of our own after witnessing childbirth for the first time? 

I don’t want to share too many details, because this is Page’s story, not mine.  But it was truly an incredible experience in my life, and I just can’t get over how thankful I feel that Page invited us to share this moment in her family’s life.  I was in tears myself when the delivering physician, Page’s hubby himself, told his wife the news that their bundle of joy was going to wrapped in a pink blanket.  Of all the moments I’ve ever captured with my finger on the shutter release, Page’s reaction at learning she was the momma of a little girl is my all time favorite. 

I’ve obviously never seen a baby who is merely seconds old, and my breath was captured by her perfection.  Matt has told me many times that being in medicine, contrary to what you might think about it being all scientific, has only further cemented his belief that we are creatures of God’s design.  Witnessing this intersection of science and miracle, I suddenly perfectly understood what he means by that. 

And amazingly, all the fears that I have had about going through childbirth (which have been many) have actually diminished by witnessing it.  I will forever be indebted to this family for inviting Jamie and I into this moment of their life.  Happy Birthday, sweet Faye and welcome to the world.  Just to give you a heads up, you’re in really good hands for the life journey ahead of you. 

Y Not?

I do not recommend waking up at 11:43 when you have a noon date at the gym. Especially when said gym is 20 minutes away. I never intended to sleep so late - when Jamie and I made gym plans, I famously said "Let's make them at noon, so I can sleep in without an alarm."

I sort of assumed I'd wake up around 9... maybe 10...

But noon?

Hello, college me.

Jamie and I met at a rescheduled 12:20, and officially joined the Y! I can't believe it's been quite so long since I was a gym member, but it feels good to be back in the saddle. I deliberated on whether or not I should pony up and pay for the Y - especially because it's in the complete opposite direction of my house and there's other, cheaper gyms in Winston. But I love the facility, I love how much it offers (cardio/multiple free weight rooms, a pool, classes) and I finally decide to just suck it up and invest in my health - both financially and time-wise.

Oh hey, novel idea there, health coach.

After the workout, I came home and tackled my house. I won't tell you how long it took, but I swear, I can't figure out how 2 people and 1 dog render so much destruction in such a short time. I still haven't gotten up the nerve to do my sewing room, and I'm wondering when that's going to happen as the next few weekends are packed to the hilt. I've got a deadline of our Christmas party, as the rooms at Hotel Cline book up awful fast for that soiree. So I guess I've got about 8 weeks to knock it out.

Yes people, Christmas is that soon.

Go ahead, panic. I might have.

Boomtown Rats, I've Got Nothing

Monday gets a bad rap, but it's one of my favorite nights of the week (and not just because there's a new HIMYM which became my new addiction this summer. Self five! Anyone? Ok...) I rarely ever put coaching clients or make other appointments* on Monday, because the first day back to work always is a little shock to the system, so I look forward to an entire evening with nothing to do every Monday.

Tonight was no exception - I used the free night to pre-prep Tuesday's dinner since I have a couple coaching calls in the evening and dinner often gets slighted, took the Budster for a long stroll and caught up on some laundry.

Man, my life is EXCITING. You know, I've kept a "dear diary" type of journal since 3rd grade and the entries don't stray too far from this exhilarating type of real life documentary. I wonder if my brother would have been on such a mission to break into my diaries if he had known the entries sounded something like this:

Dear Diary,
Today I got an A on my spelling bee. I also had to memorize a poem this week so I could get into the play "The Children of Buttercup Commons." Also, Elizabeth asked me to sleepover this weekend. And we won our softball game!!!! I got walked four times!!!!**

Pretty sure he would have moved on to other missions.

Like Dungeons and Dragons.

ANYWAYS...where was I? Oh that's right, I chopped up squash and zucchini and wrapped prosciutto around chicken. I folded scrubs, I swiffered floors, I jogged the Spuddy Buds a good mile.

Oh yea, and then I had a coaching call. Oops. So much for no-evening-work Monday.

Annnnnd then, I forced myself to go to bed because somehow I had talked myself into an early morning gym workout which meant a 4:30 am alarm. Gag. But so worth it to get it out of the way. See? How can Monday have a bad rap with an evening as peaceful and productive as that?

Footnotes:
*Except half-price wine night at Mozelle's on Monday. I am always available for this appointment.

**Because I remained under 5 feet tall until I was 15 years old, my strategy throughout most of my Little League years to maintain as small a strike zone as possible. It's quite likely that I only actually hit the ball two or three times in my five year career, but I almost always got on base. If that's not using what the Good Lord gave ya, I don't know what is.

***Post title... anyone get it? anyone?

Everyday Life 2.0

Life is starting to settle into a routine again (ahh, sweet sweet consistency)... just in time for the weekends to get busy with tailgates, trip to the mountains and soon enough, holiday preparations.  Last week Matt had to work 12 hour shifts (night ones too) so we've been high fiving on the front steps as he comes home and I take off, and having about an hour together after work - sometimes long enough for dinner, sometimes not. 

There's one person who's been quite happy about this - the Budster.  After spending 8 hours asleep with me, he gets a walk and a bowl of breakfast  and then he's back in bed for another 8 hours with Matt. 

After a busy Friday and Saturday - pizza/movie/vino with my friend Lauren, a 5k in the morning with Heather and her boyfriend, and rushing around getting ready for and going to the tailgate - I crashed hard on Sunday.  I'd been feeling hints of tired all weekend, and then I think I got dehydrated on Saturday (running followed by Gulp-size diet coke followed by tailgate beer... not so brilliant.)  Every time I tried to go vertical on Sunday, my head protested vehemently.

As delightful as spending another 8 hours in bed was to the Buddy, it was frustrating to me.  Didn't my body know I had dishes to clean?!  There was remnants of artichoke dip plastered on every pot I owned.  Laundry to fold!  Floors to be swiffered!  And then there were blogs to be written and papers to be filed - I still haven't put away 4 years worth of an office that I brought home from WFU and dumped in my guest room.  My blessed hubby has not taken up my dad's strategy of dealing with annoying piles of crap - that is to say, I have not found my stuff dumped in the outside garbage can.

Yet.

After I roiled around for a few hours being mad at the world that the ONE DAY where I had nothing on my agenda, I couldn't even stay upright, I finally accepted the situation and took a nap.

A five hour nap.

I know, poor me, right?

(Before I fell asleep, I desperately Googled "emergency housecleaning service" thinking MAYBE just maybe if I could find someone to clean my house while I slept MAYBE just maybe I would feel less guilty about sleeping.  It's not as my house is usually eat off the floor clean, and I’m super particular about it, but it was a bomb, y’all.)

So I slept.  I slept, I slept and I slept and I woke up intermittedly to text my mom or answer a phone call from Matt and would test my upright powers.

"Can I stand up yet with no headache? Nope.  Okay, back to bed."

Finally around six, I felt functional and was able to clean up the kitchen, do a few loads of laundry and blog.  (Priorities... the floor can get swiffered lately, I had to blog, yall.)  Matt came home a few hours later with dinner/lunch and a big ol’ Gatorade for me. 

Of course, after sleeping most of the day awake I was wide awake at what should have been bedtime, so of course, I fretted about that and how I would already be starting the week with a sleep deficit if I couldn't fall asleep soon.

Go with the flow is not really my specialty - are you picking up on that?

I finally feel like I’m starting to find into a routine with my work schedule, which is most excellent as this week somehow became jam packed with extracurriculars.  I haven't felt "ready" so to speak to take on the extras the first couple weeks, and I still feel a little bit overwhelmed, but I’m getting there.  I mean, if ever there was a week to take! on! the! world! it would be right after a 5 hour nap, right?

Does everyone take so long to adjust to new routines as I do?  In college, I often felt like by the time I got a hang of my schedule – it’d practically be midterms.  I guess the problem isn’t so much that I take awhile to adjust to a new routine, it’s that I berate myself for *not* having adjusted yet.  As if, somehow in my 28 years of routine-loving-living, one day I might wake up and find oh hey! I rock at flying by the seat of my pants now!  Wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier if I just accepted that this is who I am, and anything new makes me wonky for at least a good six weeks?

Acceptance.  A novel idea.  Something that a life coach might encourage people to do?  Weird.

It Doesn’t Matter

I made a big decision this week. The kind of decision where right/wrong aren’t crystal clear, and right before you fall asleep at night you think you know what you're going to do and then you wake up the next morning and the temporary respite of resolution has disappeared again.

I was offered a job on Tuesday. I began my job search two months ago, after receiving confirmation at my annual review that, despite the fact that everyone was really happy with me, the funding for my grant-based job was ending in June and there was nothing in the pipeline that matched my skill set: weight loss expert without an RD, health interventionist not interested in teaching exercise. I had created a niche for myself in my current position that although I seem to be fairly good at, doesn't really exist in other grants. Small problem.

So I started tentatively looking. My expectation was that finding a job could be a half-year project, or more. I applied to anything that seemed remotely appropriate, hoping that interviews would at least be good practice. I heard nothing. Not even rejections.

In early August, I found a job that I loved the sound of and applied, expecting the usual - nothing. Two days later I got a phone call. A week later, an interview. Another week later, an offer.

It all happened so quickly, I barely had time to process it. All throughout my job search, I thought of course, of course, if I find another job, I'll leave. I mean, HELLO, I don't have a job in 8 months. (Although I did lobby hard to try and convince Matt that Buddy could really benefit from me becoming his Stay at Home Mommy. I'll just pretend he was so enthralled with his PTI episode that he didn't hear me ask. All thirty times.)

All through the offer process, I thought I would accept.

And then, an agreement was made and it was time to decide. I started freaking out.

"Can I really leave my participants?" "Shouldn't I finish out the study?" "I really like my co-workers, and I have loads of vacation days saved up, and I can do my job with my eyes closed... what if I hate my new coworkers? and I can't go on vacation? And learning a new job is HARD?" My stomach churned while I tried to decide what to do. I was sitting in my car outside my office, and I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that God would tell me what the right answer was.

::::crickets:::

So I called Matt, my Mom, my Dad, Jamie, Heather. Anyone who would listen to me sort of the reasons to stay or go.

I realized that most of my reasons for saying no were lodged in fear: fear that my current employers would think poorly of me for leaving, fear that I wouldn't like or be as successful at the new job, or like my coworkers, or that I wouldn't be able to find anything good on XM radio for the extra 10 minutes in the car both ways.

Fear, as it turns out, is a pretty crappy excuse to avoid doing things. So, I decided to go for it. I punched the return call button on my phone, and said yes. I hung up, and called back Matt, my Mom, my Dad, Jamie and Heather. (Thanks yall.)

I didn't really feel the excitement of my decision until after I had gotten through the hard task of telling my 3 bosses and my 4 co-workers. Their reactions were mixed, but those who were most impacted by my decision to leave were supportive, which confirmed my decision.

By Friday, it was official. Everyone at work knew, and preparations were underway for my departure. It hit me as I was erasing my name for the September schedule that this was real: I was leaving. I was leaving the study that I had created out of my clueless, naive, hoping for the best little head and heart 4 years ago. Panic and guilt started to set in. Did I make the right decision? Too late now, I told myself. Move forward.

That night, we all gathered at Zac and Jamie's to celebrate two birthdays and, as Jamie's email lovingly put it, "my awesomeness." Happy hour turned into five hours as a group of amazing people sat around a patio table taking slices of Burke St Pizza and pouring glasses of Cook's champagne, laughter and conversation accentuated by the flickering lights of candles in tin lanterns.

I was leaning back in my chair looking around at this group with such contentment when I heard with absolute clarity the answer to my prayer that I had spoken 3 days prior.

"It doesn't matter."

When truth hits you, you know it. I knew it then: there had been no right or wrong choice to be made. Where you spend 40 (plus) hours a week is important, and being happy there is a big slice of life. But it’s just that: a slice of life. Making a living is simply so much more than just where the paycheck comes from.

Sunday Somethings

It’s August! The hottest month of the year! Which is a little unnerving, considering June and July averaged in the 100’s. Hoo-boy.

But there’s hope. The averages through this week are in the high 80s. Am I talking about the weather on my blog? Yessir I think I am. It’s all anyone in the South can talk about. This is the hottest summer I can remember in the ten years I’ve been in Winston. I usually gauge this by how nauseous I feel when running at 7 am. I am so thankful for the wonderful folks in Buena Vista who keep sprinklers on automatic timers.

Today was a nice break though – Lauren and I went running around 8 am, and it was only 70 and not nearly as humid as it has been. We ran 4.5 and it was the most comfortable, easy run we’ve had since probably April. To contrast, my long run on Thursday was probably one of the top five worst runs I can remember. I didn’t eat enough dinner on Wednesday night, it was super muggy and I had poured all my water on my head too early and had none left to drink. I felt okay for the first five miles, but the last two were slap miserable.

This is the actual conversation I had with myself the last mile:

I need to stop. I’m going to pass out.

You’re not going to pass out. Keep going.

No really, I am going to pass out. I should probably at least try to make a few more yards, where there’s grass alongside the road instead of this parking lot.

Shut up.

I wonder if I pass out if one of these cars would stop and help me. I wonder if I’d be able to fall slowly enough to not hit my head on the sidewalk.

Seriously? You’re being ridiculous.

Whimper.

Look, just keep moving. One of two things will happen: you will either pass out or you won’t, and if you don’t, then you will finish this run. Just. Keep. Moving.

So. Who wants to pick up running as their new hobby?

Fortunately, yesterday’s run was one of those trot along, admire the scenery, feel the cool breeze and sigh happily to yourself “I loooove running” type runs that erase all previous memories of bad runs like Thursday out of your mind. At least long enough to convince you to keep going for another week.

On my way home from dropping off Lauren, I went and picked up a gas station coffee (my fave) and Sunday’s paper. After a shower, I sat on the couch for almost an hour and perused the Sunday inserts and clipped coupons. Target ads have such a relaxing effect on me.

Then I set about trying to be a Pioneer Woman (no, not THE pioneer woman, just A pioneer woman) and make homemade bread. I’ve been on a baking kick, which is unusual for me. I much prefer cooking to baking – less precision required and generally healthier. But in the last two weeks, I made blueberry scones, blueberry muffins and a peach-blueberry galette. That might possibly be more baking than I’ve done in our entire marriage. So I decided I could make bread.

It seemed pretty straight forward, and I thought I followed the recipe to a T. I measured (a big deal for me), I stirred, I kneaded. I covered with plastic wrap and put it in the warmest part of our house to rise.

Noodle dog will keep your bread warm.

(Just kidding. I put it in the laundry room.)

But after I baked it, they were like rocks. Not inedible – I could cut into them. But dense. From a quick Google search, it sounds like I didn’t knead them long enough. I read one blog where she said she sets a timer for 8 minutes to knead. Ha. I definitely did not do that.

I’m embarrassed to even post that picture.

I sadly threw the bread out, after eating a slice and realizing I couldn’t subject anyone else to it. We were having our friends Zac and Jamie over for dinner, so I set about tending to the rest of the sans-bread meal. I made a paste out of onions, garlic, oil, jalapeno and ginger to cover a pork tenderloin and cooked some Trader Joe veggies, sweet potato fries and a salad. Dessert was my favorite – homemade whip cream (I could eat this by the spoonful. And by could, I mean do) with blueberries and mini angel food cakes.

It was so nice to finally be able to sit outside. We bought patio furniture back in May, and it’s been nearly too scorching to sit out there and enjoy it! I think we’ve eaten out there just a handful of times since we bought it. We sat outside long past the sun setting and caught up for hours with our longest-in-Winston friends. We used to be almost-next door neighbors for nearly two years, and sharing dinners with each other was probably a weekly thing. Good friends are what makes turns a city into a hometown, you know?

I’m looking forward to August. We have our wedding anniversary, as well as some weekend plans to look forward too. It’s still summer, but you can feel things starting to slow down from the frenetic “squeeze everything into summer vacay” pace of July. And maybe, just maybe, it won’t be 100 degrees every day.

A Resident’s Life

We had our RSA Welcome brunch this morning. RSA = Resident Spouse Association, which I loosely translate to Junior League for Resident’s wives. (Although allegedly there’s a husband somewhere in the mix, I’ve never seen him.)

I don’t know that I “officially” met all my girlfriends through RSA, but coincidentally or not, most of my closest friends here are residents wives and I am so very thankful for them. I think sometimes we forget how strange and different the medicine world is compared to “the real world”, so having friends who are experiencing the exact same things you are makes life easier. No one gets miffed if someone can’t hang out because a husband has a night off (because we recognize that sometimes it can be the only one in an entire week) and there’s a good chance that anytime you’ve got a hubby on call and are looking for company, you can find someone else in the same boat. Our husbands all work the same long hours, make the same paychecks and have the same stressors. Whatever it is you need to vent/talk about, we all “get it.”

The welcome brunch went well – it’s a chance to introduce new members to what RSA is all about (playgroups, book clubs, happy hours, volunteer work, etc.) and we always have a heckuva raffle thanks to community donations. This year I walked away with a one month membership to a gym, a one hour massage and a few restaurant gift cards. Woop!

After the brunch, I came home with the intention to clean up my house while my hubby slept off a night shift. The day was so rainy and dreary, I thought I’d curl up on the couch with a good book for an hour before cleaning….

Three hours later…. Zzzzzz… Zzzzz…. What is it about a good thunderstorm that’ll just knock you out?

Once I got the house cleaned, I decided to re-mess it up by making scones. I haven’t made scones since I worked at the coffee shop in high school. They were scrumptious. The perfect treat for a rainy afternoon with a cup of tea.

Once Matt woke up, we went on a retail-date and window shopped around Best Buy for awhile. (I played with the iPad for a few minutes…purrrr.) To walk in Best Buy pretty much negates the claim that there’s a recession going on. Matt had some charts to finish before going back in that night, so we took our grub home and he charted while I blogged (this) and Buddy snored away in Buddy’s bed. (Real time post!)

And that’s a peek into a resident’s life and a resident’s wife’s life on a Saturday.

Lazy Sunday

Yesterday was deliciously lazy.

I laid in bed til almost eleven. ELEVEN! I kept dreaming of water boiled bagels from Brighton, and french toast from Midtown Dessertery and even, I think, a Bojangles biscuit.

I don’t even really like Bojangles biscuit but that tells you how delusional slash sleepy I was.

When I did finally get up, I had Dad’s homemade banana bread instead. I won’t say how many slices I had, but I will confess my luggage had two more loaves in it.

It’s hard to want to be in two places at once.

I had Pontillo’s for lunch one last time and continued working on cleaning out my room. I can only do a little bit at a time, because it’s hard for me to get rid of childhood stuff.

Like slap bracelets.

And best friend necklaces.

And my parents’ pass to get into basketball games.

Those are memories, ya know?

Then I packed, and we left for the airport. Weekends at home go too quickly. My travel back was uneventful, but I’m thinking that I’m going to stick with driving more these days. It bugs me that ever since airlines made us pay for checked bagged, everyone is bringing ginormous bags as carry-on. Now you can even pay more to get on early to make sure you get overhead space, which at first I thought was totally stupid, but now I see is kind of necessary. And it’s becoming a vicious cycle of paying for more things and it annoys me.

I’d rather pay for gas, diet mt. dews, combos and roll up I-95 with the windows down, singing to myself at the top of my lungs.

(My biggest fear in life is that I’ll purse-dial someone while I’m singing “Don’t Stop Believing” at the top of my lungs and instead of hanging up when they realize it’s a purse dial, they’ll listen to the whole thing because my singing is so atrocious.)

(For real. Whenever I’m singing in the car, I check my phone compulsively to make sure it didn’t dial anyone.)

Travel makes me punchy. I got to Charlotte around 10:30, and drove up to Winston. Then, because I had started a really good book on the plane and was almost done, I stayed up til almost 3 am finishing in the book. File under “bad decisions.”

But, I did come home to a clean house. Swiffered floors, laundry put away, dishes done. That is the best surprise I could have ever asked for.

I don’t have any work to do until later today, so I’m having a slow morning. A few more slices of banana bread, and I might get going.

Might. It is Monday, after all.