Leaning In, Leaning Back and Making Choices {A Book Review}

My book club is meeting tonight at 6 pm to discuss our most recent read, Lean In. I have been anticipating the conversation for almost a month - all of us crowded around a large, wooden table with generous pours of wine and cheese or pastries to accompany our conversations. I have been curiously awaiting the opinions of the women in this group - most in their late 20's or early 30s, working professional, (most) pre-children. They're the demographic I think Sandberg was thinking of when she wrote it, and I'm wondering how the book resonated with them as they turned the pages and read her words.

I won't know, because I won't be there. At 6 pm, I'll be giving my baby his last bottle, sniffing the almond smell of his shampoo lingering from his bath and watching his long eyelashes fall heavy on his cheek. I'll be missing a conversation I've waited eagerly for, but that's okay. I'll be right where I'm supposed to be. 

It's hard sometimes, to miss out on stuff you want to do. That's just part and parcel of parenting, right? I told myself early on one day "the sooner you accept that you are no longer in control, the easier this will be." And I did and it has been, and it's allowed me to realize that the days of my baby (and future babies?) being so tiny are going to be heartbreakingly short. Rather than lament the missed book clubs, cancelled lunch dates or inability to keep up with my former 4-times-a-week Dance Trance schedule, acknowledging the brevity of this time period in my life has allowed me to savor it. And when I do, it is breathtaking how sweet it is. 

I consider it an absolute privilege that I have the opportunity to be home with Bo. I try to make sure Matt knows how much I appreciate the fact that he heads out the door to work every day and affords us both the chance for me to be home with our baby. I know it is not what every woman chooses to do and I know that there are many women who would choose to do so but are not able to. I know there are many women who are torn between both. I don't begrudge anyone their path.  I simply acknowledge how fortunate I was to be able to choose. 

That's why it surprised me that I liked Sheryl Sandberg's book as much as I did. As a woman who had chosen to put her career on hold and stay home with her baby, I expected to whole-heartedly disagree with her message. Before I read the book, what I had gathered from other reviews of it was that it was a rah-rah-rah book for women who wanted to be leaders in the workplace, who wanted to push forward mightily with their careers and be the next CEO. I've never had grand ambition of that manner and didn't expect to resonate with the Sheryl, who obviously does. 

And her book certainly was a rah-rah-rah message for woman who want to be leaders in the workplace. There's plenty of motivation and inspiration for the next generation of women who want to sit at the table and take the helm. But, what surprised me the most, was how the overarching theme of her book was not that this was the only path that women should be on… the book was about having the opportunity to choose. Choice is the very thing I am most thankful for, and what I wish every woman had. What I believe every woman should have. 

I didn't love everything about the book, and I didn't agree with everything in it. In fact, I sometimes found it contradictory or confusing - which could be slightly accounted for the fact that I listened to it in my car and probably had my attention divided between the road, the book, the baby in the car seat and the anxious dog in the way back. But I didn't hate it or passionately disagree with it, which is exactly what I anticipated going into it. 

I was genuinely surprised by how much I learned from it or points I found myself nodding along in agreement to. Some of the research she shared that resonated with me helped me recognize critical moments throughout my own education and career. And then, some of the moments I wholeheartedly disagreed with her forced me to think through and articulate (at least to myself) what some of my values and belief were. 

In short (and because nap time is almost over), it is a good read. It's a worthy read. I think anything that broadens the conversation about the choices women have to make, or should be able to make, is a good thing. It's a book I'd recommend anyone read, if only to be able to add their own voice to the conversation. Even if on some days it feels like the only leadership skills you're currently using are directing the plastic spoon to keep mashed bananas out of someone's hair...

Life After College Doesn’t Have to Suck: A Book Review

I am the wrong person to write this review.  For starters, this book is written for college graduates (the soon-to-be, the just-last-week, and the-few-years-ago.)  Considering I recently felt morally obligated to stop using my student ID at Harris Teeter about 2 years ago, I think I am (sadly) out of the context of college graduate.

Secondly, I picked up Life After College Doesn’t Have the Suck mainly because I know the author and I was impressed one of my peers had done something I've always wanted to do (written and PUBLISHED a book), and wanted to see what it was all about.  This, of course, makes me moderately biased which I think is fair to state up front.  Nonetheless, my friend Jess asked me the other day if I wouldn’t get on Goodreads (because I fear getting sucked into another social media outlet), if I would at least blog from time to time when I read something I liked.  So here we are.

I downloaded it on a slow Saturday evening (see: definitely not a recent college graduate) and dove in, figuring I’d read a few chapters to get the gist of it.

I didn't go to bed until I had finished it that night.  I was sucked in immediately, drawn in by the outrageous chapter titles and the fast-clipped, in your face writing style.  I may not be the target audience for this book, but I was highlighting lines, nodding my head and literally stopped twice to text the author to tell him I was laughing out loud at certain points. 

Let's get down to it.  I want you to buy the book (and John Murdock, the author, does too) so I'll be sparse in my details about content.  The basic premise is that while it used to be a pretty safe bet that a 4-year degree was the all-express pass to The Perfect Job post college, the times they are a changing.  And yet… no one really seems to be passing that memo along to college students (and recent grads) until they get out in the "real world."  And when they get there, they are flailing and have no idea what to do.

I think this topic is incredibly relevant.  We're hearing more and more about the burgeoning student debt problem as it's taking college grads longer and longer to find employment, along with the rest of the country.  We’re still churning high school students out on to the conveyer belt to the 4 year liberal arts school with little to no warning that the next stop of the fulfilling, quickly obtained, lucrative career is becoming more and more elusive.

I love that this book is addressing this issue, but more importantly, I love the way Murdock addresses the issue.  He's pretty blunt.  I have to admit, I was taken aback at first.  I'm a long time reader of personal development blogs like White Hot Truth and The Happiness Project, and I'm much more accustomed to ingesting information in quirky, happy sound bites.  My initial gut reaction was to be put off by the shock-value tone. But there is enough humor after the initial blows to balm the wounds and keep the reader going. The more I got into the book, I realized that the HEY YOU! WAKE UP! tone is exactly what’s needed. It's a fine art to know when to wield tough love and I think he gets it right here.

I was also initially struck by the brevity of the book. The chapters are short, the points are made quickly and then it’s on to the next thing. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this delivery was actually perfected suited to the intended readership too. John's writing to the audience that is 100% accustomed to getting information in feeds, tweets and texts. Information is ingested quickly before moving on to the next salient point. If his goal was to capture the attention of the recent college grad, shake them by the shoulders, scare them a little bit, then reassure them it was going to be okay – if they were willing to make the effort to make it that way - he hit the nail on the head.

The book is timely and arrives on the cusp of a conversation about the unique problems the next generation of worker bees is facing. They're at the intersection of Steve Job's admonishment to "keep looking" and the economy's advice to "take whatever you can get."

My sense was the book is meant to be a catalyst. It's not a how to guide to find the perfect job after college, but he succinctly addresses the common pitfalls college grads are falling in to and outlines some basic ways to change course. It’s a must-read for any soon-to-be or recent college grads, but it’s also an interesting read for anyone who is participating in the conversation of what’s next for Gen Y in the workforce. If the reader finishes the book and feels like there IS a 3rd option between a soul-sucking corporate existence that pays the bills and bunking in Mom & Dad's basement until inheritance kicks in, then John has succeeded.

******

You can pick up the e-book here, read more on John’s blog here or follow The Young Professional on Twitter. 

And the necessary disclaimer: I was not paid to read or review the book.  All opinions are mine and all moola spent was mine.