Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Two Years Ago Today

Four years ago, my husband asked me to date him. More specifically, he asked me to stay in North Carolina and not go back to Baltimore. We had known each other for 4 years at that point, having dated for a few months beginning our sophomore year. As college ended, we found ourselves getting reacquainted, running up cell phone minutes and staying way too late chatting on instant messenger. My grad school friends were perplexed that I spent all this time talking to and talking about this guy, even declaring that I would marry a guy "just like Matt" but yet, I wasn't dating Matt. It was a natural progression for us to begin dating, but yet, when he first posed the question - "stay here?" - I felt almost as much fear as I did excitement.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle dating someone who lived 600 miles away. (Leaving Baltimore was not quite an option yet, unless I wanted to quit grad school a mere 40% completed.) I was afraid that once it was official, and he was my boyfriend, that missing him would hit me so hard I wouldn't be able to handle it. I was afraid that he WAS the guy I was going to marry, and how could I possibly know that at 23? I was afraid that I couldn't handle dating someone, or ultimately being married to, someone in medicine. I was afraid I wasn't mature enough or good enough for the person I had spent the last 4 years declaring to everyone else was the model of my Mr. Right.

I went back to Baltimore, unsure of what to do. I was scared I might lose him, but I was scared to move forward.

Moving forward in the face of fear has always resulted in the most amazing things in my life. A week after Matt asked me to date him, I was walking back from Camden Yards after a Red Sox-Orioles game. It was a sunny afternoon, everyone around me was raucous and exuberant after a Red Sox win (I kid you not that there were more Ortiz fans than Tejada fans at most O's games.). We were all traipsing back through Fed Hill on this gloriously sunny April afternoon, but my heart didn't feel right. I went back home, and I was sitting on my front steps when my phone rang. "So......," he asked, again.

I said yes.

A year later I said yes when he asked me to marry him.

Tonight we celebrated our 2nd anniversary. It is amazing how quickly two years have gone by. Whenever I think about my husband, there is just an overwhelming sense of calmness, happiness, and gratitude that floods me. Floors me. He is mine? Forever? For keeps?

I used to drive around belting out the lyrics to a Rascal Flatt song called "Everyday Love." This song always resonated with me, and I think it's because I knew that this was the kind of love I was already looking to have. Simple, uncomplicated, trustworthy, yet so marvelous.

It's easy to take for granted the simple things in life, and I am absolutely positive that this is true of a good marriage. My intention for my marriage is to always let my husband know how thankful I am that he is there. That he was worth moving through the fear for, and that I found the most wonderful life on the other side of that fear. Thanks for asking me to be your wife, and happy 2 years to us.

It's ordinary plain and simple
Typical, this everyday love
Same ol', same ol' keeping it new
Emotional, so familiar
Nothing about it too peculiar
Oh, but I can't get enough
Of this everyday love

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